I'm no "Miss Manners", but, it seems to me that lately, people are not following "the rules" when in social situations that calls for one to be "polite". Or gracious. Or both.
My nail tech and I got to jabbering about this Friday afternoon. What brought it up was a situation that arose with another nail tech and two of her customers. The first customer (the one who was in the chair when I arrived) obviously has a "professional friendship" with her nail tech. Meaning, when she's getting her nails worked on, they talk about a lot of things. They both share about what's going on in their lives, their families, etc. Ok, that's nice. I know if I am going to have to sit in a chair for 45 minutes or so, I'd just assume talk to the person in front of me. Otherwise, it's very tedious. However, once you're done, you're done. Time to get up out of the chair, move away, and leave. Or, if you have to sit and "dry" for a bit, be respectful of the following customer's time.
Customer #1 got up from the chair, went to sit at another station to dry, and Customer #2 sat down for her service. Meanwhile, Customer #1 continued to talk to the nail tech as if she was still sitting there in front of her. My nail tech was getting agitated and mumbled to me, "She does this every time!" I said, "Yeah, you'd think she'd understand that her time is up!" Obviously, we both got it. My nail tech said, "The problem is, Ivy (the other nail tech) lets her get away with it!"
Personally, I thought Customer #2 was too gracious; had it been me, I likely would have turned around and told Customer #1 to shut her trap, she was talking on MY dime!
Anyway, this scenario brought to mind a multitude of others where people should "know better" how to behave and they don't behave that way at all. Here are a few that I thought of that I'd observed within the last week:
Hockey Game Dude: Ok, a hockey game is one of those places that you expect to see some good natured heckling. Especially where our seats are, which is directly behind the opposing team's bench. So, there tends to be opposing fans sitting in that area, which means they get into heckling our team. And the refs, etc. However, the other night, this one guy, a Pittsburg fan, just wouldn't shut up. He was really going at heckling the ref because he didn't like one of the calls. Hell, I can assure you that these refs are equal opportunity bad callers. Anyway, this guy went on and on and on and ON. Finally, some of the Canes fans started heckling him back and he got even more obnoxious. IMO, there is a time to stop this behavior and sit down and shut up and drink your beer. BTW, why are all irritating and obnoxious fans at sporting events overweight and unattractive?
Parking Lot Behavior: This applies to all a few situations. One, the people who drive way too fast through a parking lot when there are tons of people walking to their cars. Two, those that refuse to let anyone into a line of moving cars. I think we all know there is some etiquette here; let in one or maybe two cars, move on. Conversely, those that are waiting to get in that pull out in front of a "nice" person that has already let in their share of cars. What gives?
Grocery Store Check Out Lines: Again, there are a few situations. The first and most obvious are people that load up their carts and then go into the Express Lane. Or, the ones that come up behind you in one of the regular lanes with a few items, look pointedly at your full cart, and sigh in irritation when you won't let them go ahead of you. Even worse, the ones that come right out and say, "Can I go ahead of you?" Even if I were considering letting that person go in front of me, the moment they ask or otherwise cope a 'tude, I don't let them.
And, other examples that don't require a lot of explanation:
1. People that talk in movies and/or don't turn off their cell phone, it rings, and they actually answer it.
2. Ditto folks in restaurants or other such places who insist on gabbing away on their cell phone.
3. Folks that let their children misbehave and/or scream in restaurants or movies or any public place where it is annoying.
4. People that talk loudly while walking down the hallway in a hotel; especially when it is early in the morning OR late at night.
What are some more? I know that I am missing some (I didn't include here driving faux pas or people that don't pick up after their dogs since that's been covered in
extensive detail in other entries!)
Mrs. B
2 comments:
i agree with all of those but i can maybe give you some insight to the screaming baby one.
before i had a child, i heard every child crying and it irritated me to no end. i wondered why people even went out with their kids because i really thought they shouldn't (unless it was a kid friendly place).
but now that i have my own, and we like to eat at very-kid friendly places (red robin, mcdonalds, etc.) but also kinda-kid friendly places (like, eh, ruby tuesday's, applebees, etc.). when my child cries in a restaurant, i do try to get up and take him out. but sometimes he is just fussing a little and getting up, moving him, etc. only makes it worse. most of the time just working through it while we sit and eat is best for us and him, plus his cries are NOT as loud to me (the parent who is used to the fussing and the laughing and the food tossing) as it is to you (the person at the next table who just wanted a quiet evening away from home)... what YOU may think is a crying, uncontrolled child may be sounds a little fussiness to his/her parents.
anyway, i did read some time ago (before i was a mom) that anytime your child cries or misbehaves in a restaurant, you should immediately remove him from the floor (take him outside, bathroom,etc.). and this is a great idea, but sometimes i just want to eat too. and its not like you can leave a 5 month old or a 3 year old in the car. sometimes you just don't have any food in your pantry and you have to go out, and sometimes there isn't time to get a babysitter.
so anyway, now that i have a baby, i think i am much more tolerant to other unhappy babies (fussy because they are hungry, uncomfortable, or sleepy). still, though, if they are "bad" because the parents aren't in control, then it irritates me too. like, the parent that lets their child beg and whine in line at a store because they want a piece of candy. last week i was in babies r us and this woman and her ~3 year old girl were in the other line. the kid wanted candy. her mom said no in a non-assertive way. the kid threw a temper tantrum. literally laid down in the floor. the mom pretended she was leaving which only elevated the panic in the child. needless to say, i was SO glad kendal was quiet and sweet that day.
You're right, Analee, in that there is nothing like walking in another person's shoes to understand what they are going through. It is unlikely that I'll ever have kids (although I have been in public places with kids that are not behaving well; usually with a friend and their kid) and most of the time, the friend has removed the kid from the scene.
I guess what the intent of my Blog was is that we in society have to have a degree of tolerance -- up to a point.
So, in your example, the person sans screaming baby (or fussing baby that seems like a screaming baby because they've no real experience with such things) might try to count to ten and see if things calm down; give the parents a break, etc. And, on the otherhand, the parents should realize that fussing to them is screaming to others and not impose that on other customers for any long period of time.
Also, people w/o kids should definitely not expect a quiet dinning experience in certain establishments!
What you described; the kid throwing a fit in the store and laying down on the floor, is more in line of what I was really referring to regarding misbehaving kids and, worse, the adults who enable them to act that way.
But, as I said, I don't have kids, I'll never have kids, so, my tolerance is (I admit) LOW for that sort of thing! Which is why, I suppose, that I DON'T have kids.
Know thyself, and all.
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