Am I the only one who remembers specific dates long after they should really carry as much significance as they once did; especially as dates that followed became much more important in the grand scheme of things?
Case in point, Tuesday March 30th, 2004. This was the day I met Mr. B, meaning, our first face to face meeting. We were matched up via eHarmony on Friday March 19th. Thanks to the journal I was keeping at that time and the scrapbook I later made (thank God I keep everything, even if I'm the only one who will ever care that I did so), I have these words to help in my recollections:
Dear Amy and Mark:
I'm writing to tell you that eHarmony's unique matching system has sifted information through hundreds of thousands of profiles and matched yours on 29 Key Dimensions of compatibility. We've taken the work and stress out of finding a compatible person to meet. So, Amy and Mark, we'd like to make an introduction.
And what I had to say to eHarmony later when reporting our "Success Story":
Mark immediately initiated the communication process. I was deeply enthralled with the information on his page and felt a connection with him as many of his answers were close in tone to mine.
Soon, we'd progressed to the 4th Stage in eHarmony's controlled process, which was Open Communication. Here is a bit of the emails we first sent one another:
These first emails are always a bit tough! Sounds like you've been at eHarmony for a short period of time; same with me (signed up in February). I just moved to Durham from LA (to be closer to family) and figured this would be a good way to meet some nice people...I was married for about ten years and have been divorced for almost four. No children, but I do have cats...Glad to hear you like cooking/entertaining; definitely one of my favorite things to do (along with traveling and reading...) PS...You're right...you don't look like you are 47 years old :-)
Yes, the first emails do seem to be the hardest to write...I am basically a shy person with new people and then warm up quickly...I have a daughter who is 11...who lives with her mother...What kind of cats do you have? I love their names, by the way (BIG kudos, there, Mr. B!) I always had cats around growing up...been thinking about getting one...(how about FIVE, sweetie?)...I read in your information that you like to travel...so do I...
After several emails, we decided to meet for coffee/dessert at a local cafe and bake shop; Mad Hatter's (who, BTW, we used to make our wedding cake!) I said in my journal:
I am going to meet Mark Tuesday night. He suggested coffee and talking. Already, I like his approach!
"Life loves to be taken by the lapel and be told: "I am with you kid. Let's go!"" -- Maya Angelou
This quote is a fairly appropriate one, I think, for the start of another new journal; the first one to begin in my new life here in Durham.
I guess I really have "taken life by the lapel", haven't I? When I really stop to think about it (and am able to tell the critic inside myself to shut up for a minute), I realize I've done a lot in the past 12 months to change my life. A lot to be proud of, because it took guts to do what I did (and yes, there is a difference between courage and stupidity/rashness!)
I know that I don't give myself enough credit. I never have.
Well, that's about to change for once and for all! I am going to take the confidence that everyone sees/thinks I have and start on a new adventure with it.
Starting tonight! I am meeting a new man from eHarmony in less than an hour. Who knows if he is "The One", but so far, at least from our emails, I like him quite a bit.
As it turned out, it rained quite heavily that evening. I remember I was wearing my London Fog raincoat, a pair of taupe slacks that I thought made me look especially thin (I still have these) and a maroon sweater. I walked into Mad Hatter's and saw Mark almost right away standing off to one side of the entrance opposite the one I'd come in. I recognized him since we'd both posted pictures on our eHarmony profiles. He had on khaki slacks and a yellow polo shirt with an IBM penguin logo. To my extreme surprise, he also was sporting an earring in his left ear and had somewhat longish, curly hair (to my never-ending dismay, both the earring and the long curly hair are kept under wraps the majority of the time these days as not being especially appropriate for a CPA in the somewhat conservative South). I know we were both a bit nervous, but, thanks to the leg work eHarmony had done (and all of our emails), it didn't take too long for the edginess to evaporate and soon we were chatting like we'd known each other a lot longer than we actually had. Seriously, over tiramisu (him) and red velvet cake (me) and a lot of coffee, it did seem as though we were two people who had known each other for awhile; maybe through work or church or a Board or something who had, at some point, decided to take the relationship a bit further. In other words, we were NOT complete strangers, we knew things about one another, we had "starting points" for the conversation (my cats, his daughter, our travels, our favorite wines) to fall back on if there were any lapses.
After talking for close to two hours, we parted, but not before we exchanged a quick hug and peck kisses and Mark asked me if I wanted to get together again.
My summary from my journal later that night:
I thought it went well! I really like him. I think he may feel the same; he asked me if I want to get together again when I get back from FL. Yes, definitely yes!
And a few days later:
I guess I've had a few butterflies these past couple of days; waiting to see if Mark would still be interested...and it seems that he is! Of all things to have butterflies about (new job, meeting new people, making a presentation, travel) a prospective new romance is, by far, the best!
I began this post this morning by musing why certain dates stick with you even though ones that followed have more significance. After composing this post, it's become clear that, sometimes, it's the events of these seemingly less important dates that are, in fact the more life changing after all. For, if they hadn't happened, those that followed never could have.
And, even though Mr. B will be slaving away tonight at his office and I'll be home with our six pets, I just may have to have a piece of red velvet cake on this Tuesday March 30th 2010.