Friday, March 20, 2009

Another Reason NOT To Like T.V.

I got suckered again by a product which touted "As Seen On T.V.". As if that, in and of itself, is a reason to believe that whatever it was it said it did would work. Why, simply because it advertised on some T.V. infomercial, would we assume it did the trick?
Hey, I don't even WATCH T.V. now and I STILL let that slogan sway me into buying another worthless piece of you know what.
And, what is it with everything being $9.99?
Anyway, my most recent folly was a product called Smooth Away. I'm not (too) ashamed to admit here that, over the past few (maybe 10) years, facial hair has popped up where I'd just assume it not make an appearance. Luckily for me, said hair is light (I've known women who have had to deal with dark facial hair all their lives) but, still, I'm forever on a quest (short of laser hair removal) to get rid of it a) easily b) cheaply c) painlessly and d) non-stinky (anyone who has ever used Nair or some other facial creme remover knows it smells like rotten eggs).

Smooth Away promised to painlessly smooth away (meaning off) hair as follows:
1. Buy their product at $9.99 plus tax.
2. Adhere the hair removal pad to the special applicator. BTW, the pad has a peel off backing that reads "3M"...hmmm.
3. Gently press the pad (which, frankly, sort of reminded me of sandpaper) to the hair to be removed and rub three times first clockwise, then, counter-clockwise.
4. And, e voila! The hair is gone AND your face (or wherever) is exfoliated as well; an added bonus!
My result:
1. I bought their damn product at $9.99 plus tax thinking even as I did so that I was pouring the money down the drain (memories of the Bikini Bare product disaster, another "As Seen On T.V." product, floating through my brain).
2. I might better have bought a pile of stickee notes from least they would have been useful in leaving Honey Do notes for Mr. B.
3. Or, I could have gone out to Mr. B's shop, selected some sandpaper, cut it to the size of the applicator (a funky little pink thing that could sub as a plastic sandal for a baby doll) and ended up with a similar result. Also, pressing gently? Yeah, right. Clockwise three times and then counter-clockwise three times? Try rubbing the damn thing every which way to Tuesday about a million times, all the while thinking I might as well be doing the Hokey Poky while I was at it. Who comes up with these instructions?
4. E voila; the hair was still pretty much there AND my face looked as though I'd had an amorous encounter with Grizzly Adams.
So, looks like it's back to the rotten egg stuff and tweezers until I save up sufficient pennies for laser hair removal.
It's either that or strive to become The Bearded Lady and join the circus. Wait, there really ISN'T a circus like that any more, is there?

Anyway, NEVER AGAIN while I buy one of these silly products. NEVER EVER EVER!
If any one out there has ever bought a "As Seen On T.V." product and had even the least bit of success with it, I'd like to know!
Mrs. B


Analee said...

i can't vouch for any "as seen on tv" products, but i can make you laugh.

i plucked another hair out of my chin yesterday. same spot too. uugh. (that makes like 3 times this year that i had a hair in that spot. its like an eye brow hair that grows on my chin. yuck. YUCK.)

Mrs. B said...

I think I have one of those lost eye brow hairs as well.

Only three times this year? Lucky you!

Analee said...

i blame it on pregnancy. we'll see if it happens this year.

Mrs. B said...

Hmmm...since I've never had a child, I can't use that excuse! Do cats and dogs count?