Monday, August 11, 2008

My Best Advice...So Far: Part Two

Mrs. B is back with more advice. Whether you want it or not; and, hey, you might learn something from this old broad! Or, if you think I'm full of it, hey, that's okay, too; you'd in essence simply be following some of my advice!
Forgive…Bitterness Takes Its Toll
“Never give way to malice; it turns the best men into fools.” (Henry VIII)
Having gone through a divorce and the dissolution of a few other important relationships (both romantic and platonic) AND observing how others in similar situations behave and the havoc said behavior has wrecked, I think it’s worth noting here that one of the best bits of advice I have is to forgive and let go. I’m not saying be a dupe and constantly let someone get at you (you know that other adage, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” holds true here) but, I guess what I’m getting at is, don’t let it eat you up. Don’t let some slight, big or small, keep you from moving on with your life and getting all that is out there to grab out of it. And, certainly, don’t drag others into your little bitter pity party. One last notation on this; not only does bitterness take its toll on the INSIDE, it can ruin your looks on the OUTSIDE, too; age you beyond repair, and, in general, give you the appearance of one so unapproachable, that, no one will approach you. BTW, although old Hank offered up some grand advice, I don't think he paid attention to it himself (just ask the two of his wives and many others who lost their heads because he couldn't keep his).
Know When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” (Ernest Hemingway)
I struggle with this one all of the time, but, I know that there are usually more situations when it’s important to not flap your gums than there are to go out on a limb. Actually, what I’ve really learned with this one is, as I grow older, it’s just not as important to try and prove that I am right, smarter, better, wiser. And, there certainly is no use in saying anything if it just ain’t constructive. Period.
Be Decisive…But Also Be Flexible
"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." (Ben Stein)
At first thought, this might seem like an oxymoron, but, it’s really not. I’ve learned that, when making an important decision, it’s imperative to gather sufficient information and facts to make said decision, and, once amassed and pondered, make a decision fairly quickly. In other words, don’t go vacillate back and forth so long that you confuse yourself and/or the data becomes obsolete in the time you are wishy-washy. But, probably the most vital part of this advice (and something, frankly, that I am still learning) is, once a decision is made, there are times when you might have to go back and re-think it. Perhaps more information has come to light or the situation has changed. When this happens, it’s probably just as necessary to allow yourself to be flexible and perhaps change your mind as to be pig-headed and stubborn about the original decision.
Think Of The Worst Thing That You’ve Ever Had To Face In Your Life So Far…Whenever You Have To Do Something You Don’t Want To Do Or Are Afraid Of, Tell Yourself “No Matter What, It Won’t Be As Bad As…!”
“I’ve seen a heap of trouble in my life, and most of it never came to pass.” (Mark Twain)
This little mind game has come in handy for me many times. It’s fairly self-descriptive; so, no need to really go on about it here. But, it works.

Excel At Least One Thing…Do It When You Need A Confidence Boost
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” (Rumi)
Most of us are really good at least one thing; something that others acknowledge. In times of uncertainty, I’ve found engaging in one of the things I think I’m pretty decent at gives me the lift I need to move on past whatever is troubling me. There’s just something about that positive recognition that works wonders, and, usually, others benefit, too.
Don’t Try To Be Who You Used To Be…Be Who You Are NOW
“A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” (Johann Wolfgang Goethe, from “Faust”)
When I first jotted this down, I was primarily thinking about physical appearances; this is mostly because it is something women in particular with struggle with as they grow older; accepting that they no longer look like they did when they were 25. Hey, in some cases, this is probably a good thing, but, for most of us, it can be somewhat of a shock at times when we see ourselves in a mirror! But, as I’ve pondered this bit of advice, I’ve realized that it applies just as much, if not more, to who you are INSIDE. I suppose it might go hand and hand with the “Don’t apologize for who you are” advice I blogged about earlier. In any event, one of the best damn things about getting older is the realization that, for the most part, you can be and do whatever you please; look and feel however you want, and have the confidence to do so.

Mrs. B








1 comment:

Mr. B said...

At what time in his life did Henry say that? Before or after taking Anne's head off?