After five years of not working (for pay), yesterday, I ventured back into the corporate world. An environment that I gladly walked away from, even though I was at the pinnacle of my success.
Y'all know why, y'all have listened to my reasons (or read them) regarding that particular decision.
You also know that, in the last month or so, I was approached my someone I used to work with and asked to do some consulting with a large well-known company about an hour and twenty minutes from my house.
What with the family reunion going on (and a few other things), it took us until late last week to reach agreement on a) what they'd pay me and b) how much (and where) I'd work.
In the meantime, Mr. B set up our very own LLC, complete with insurances. I opened up a small business bank account, we're looking into some office equipment/capabilities, and, soon, we'll do fun stuff like order business cards and business letterhead.
But, the rubber really hit the road yesterday when I got in my car and drove down to the company. Believe me, the night before (after a minor hitch with the guy I'm working with, which was resolved), my heart was a bit heavy with apprehension. By yesterday morning, my heart was pounding so hard I thought I might have a heart attack. Of course, it was only anxiety; but, I asked myself anyway if I was a complete nut or fool for contemplating this major change in my (our) life.
And, that is what it really came down to; I wasn't afraid of the work, just the change. But, we all know that our fear of what might happen is usually far, far worse than what actually does happen. Of course, that's what the case was yesterday.
The day went very well! I managed to get down there (even early); everyone was very nice and friendly and welcoming. As Mr. B surmised, once I "got into it", the old professionalism and work ethic kicked right in and it hardly felt like it had been five years since I'd worked. Of course, this IS different than working for a company; I am working for myself (and Mr. B). I could have, if I'd wanted, told them yesterday "forget it, not interested" after the end of the day. But, I AM interested; it's a cool place, neat product, lots of projects to work on that are right up my alley. And, the money ain't bad, either.
So, yep; I got home, and, upon reflection, figured out (as I already alluded to) that, I was afraid of changing my life. Hell, why wouldn't I be? It's been a great life these past five years! Yet, it WAS time to make a change. To take a chance. To turn the page and see what's next.
So, here are a few more of my favorite sayings/adages (whatever) to express how I'm feeling today.
"Life is a form of not being sure, not knowing what's next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little." (Agnes DeMille)
“First you jump off the cliff and you build your wings on the way down.” (Ray Bradbury)
“Leap, and the net will appear.” (Julia Cameron)
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” (Anais Nin)
“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” (Dale Carnegie)
I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are." (Milton Berle)
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yogi Berra (Thanks, George!)