Friday, June 25, 2010


It doesn't happen as frequently as it did either when I was in full-bore working like a dog never stop to rest mode OR in the more recent Crazy Bitch Woman on the menopausal mood swings ride, but, it still does. Days where I just do not feel right. I can't get my game on. I feel sulky, cranky, tired and full of a where in the hell did this come from despair. I mean, I've never been one to be overly depressed, anxious, sad or angry; not in my entire life have I allowed myself to think of myself as having any serious problem or issue or circumstance that cannot somehow, in some way, be resolved, no matter how terrible it seems. Nothing's changed in that regard but, for some reason, in my opinion and from my perspective, today has totally sucked so far.

I woke up full of plans, none of which have been accomplished. I've certainly had the time and the opportunity to get things done, so, I cannot blame unforeseen events or unexpected company or coming down with a righteous case of Swine Flu or even my favorite fall back whipping boy of an excuse; my allergies. Nope, I just didn't feel like doing anything; couldn't even for the life of me find any motivation to tackle even a recently acquired work project that will actually bring in some welcome income (and I don't typically take money for granted, believe you me!)

Oh, to be fair to myself, I futzed around with the project somewhat. Yet, even as I was doing so, I recognized the signs of not being engaged. After an hour or so, I gave up on this, deciding I needed some resources that are currently in a box on top of the freezer in the garage to jump start me. I can't possibly get that box down myself, oh no; therefore, I must wait for Mr. B to get home. I told myself I'd get to it on Monday; all fresh, a new week.

Ok, so, since I wasn't going to work on the project, I decided I'd best get some house cleaning done. Oh, yeah. This was a great idea; facing tasks that even on a terrific day can bring one down to new lows when one is already feeling punk. But, I tried. I went into our bathroom to start, took one look around, and got depressed at the thought of scrubbing the toilet. My next idea was to forget cleaning (I can do that tomorrow while Mr. B is doing his weekend chores) and instead, go look through recipes to figure out how to use the produce we received this week in our box.

This wasn't such a hot idea, though, as I quickly became overwhelmed with both all of the options we have for recipe ideas (cooking magazines, loose recipes, thousands and thousands of cookbooks (I think they multiple when I am not looking) and now recipes coming with the produce box itself) and also with the knowledge that, as soon as I pick a few recipes out, Mr. B will come home with different ideas and I'll get irritated that I wasted my time. This is not a slight against Mr. B, but, rather, an acknowledgement of his skill at looking at whatever is in the house by the way of food stuffs and being able to create a 5-star meal out of it whilst poor me has to rely on spending hours looking at recipes and creating meal plans.

Bag that.

I turned around and saw, as I too often do but try to ignore, the streaks all over the stainless steel appliances. In my next life, I swear to God, I will NOT get stainless steel appliances. Yeah, they look nice. For about the first day you live in the house. I've yet to find something that really, truly, works well on stainless steel, despite all of the advertising of the products to the contrary.

Yet, after I finished up searching on-line for an effective way to organize loose recipes, cooking magazines and cookbooks (which in essence amounted to throw a lot of them away), I did a search on how to get streaks off stainless steel appliances.

As an aside, one thing I've come to rely on heavily in my life is Google. I've become fairly expert of finding just about anything (or anyone) using Google. I'll type out entire sentences/questions and, poof! Up comes five million ways to get streaks off of stainless steel.

Unfortunately in this case, the few I tried did not work (despite the fact they popped up multiple times with everyone swearing they never saw anything work better). The method I tried because, as I said, a lot of people said it "really, really worked!" was vinegar and olive oil. Yeah, I'm serious.

First I tried the vinegar, which was supposed to clean the surface and cut any oils/residue left from other cleaning solutions (like that worthless Stainless Steel Magic). Well, it still looked pretty smeary to me so I next tried the olive oil, which was supposed to remove any streaks and bring the shine back. Well, I should have just thrown some lettuce and tomatoes at it and had a salad for lunch for all the good it did me.

In the end, I took the crappy Stainless Steel Magic out from under the sink, cleaned off the salad dressing from the refrigerator with it, and ended up right back where I started; with streaks on my stainless steel.

By this point in time, everything I looked at or thought about doing was causing me to sigh in despair. The work project, recipes, all that fresh produce in the refrigerator, my to do list (woefully long with no check off marks), the stainless steel, my toenails in serious need of a pedicure. This is when I realized that nothing was going to seem right today and I'd better just accept it and not sweat it; knowing that, sooner or later, the feeling will pass and all will be ok again soon enough.

So, I took a nap and was comforted by the presence of my furry friends (even though I had some left-over irritation at four of my fur balls who earlier this morning knocked over one of my torch lamps and completely ruined the stained glass shade; that would be: Pete, Ares, Athena and Apollo).

I woke up about 1/2 hour ago not necessarily feeling normal again, but, not feeling any worse except my head is now sort of stuffed up and I'm groggy.

So, maybe it's those damn allergies, after all!

Mrs. B


Analee said...

so, well, it won't make you feel any better but that post did make me laugh.

sounds like my life as of lately, but throw in tripping over some some wood blocks or slipping on a book or a hot wheel car and rather than streaky stainless steel, i've got kid-stained clothes... oh, and holly threw a sippy cup and hit me in the face today (by accident it hit me, after all i was lying on the ground!). i think i'll have a black eye.

i've been a funk for about 3 weeks now. not depressed, just in a ho-hum funk. think i need about 6 to 9 months of COOL weather and snow. i HATE summer. only fun thing i do for myself is clean out my closet and toss out all the clothes that don't fit anymore. too bad i can't afford to replace them with clothes that fit.

i think my funk is because it's been a year and i still haven't found a reliable source of in come, no matter how hard i've tried. we're about to move into phase 2 of drastic money saving measures. it sucks.

Mrs. B said... of the things I seriously thought about doing yesterday was throw stuff out/mark for Goodwill. Maybe that was because I didn't feel like I could accomplish anything, so, tossing out clutter would be an easy way to at least get SOMETHING done.

But, in the end, I didn't manage even that.

I hope things turn around for y'all very soon. I'm sure it's tough. Hang in there, though; it will be ok in the end. Maybe even better.