Ok, guys, this entry is for the gals as (with the possible exception of my brother Doc), most men won't get this.
Yesterday I was sitting in the chair at the salon getting my hair done. Frankly, this whole procedure falls into the category of "If my man ever saw me like this, I think I'd die (or he would)!" Be that as it may, there I sat with bag on head, looking at myself in the huge mirror on the wall that faced me.
I have to admit, I didn't look all that hot. And, it wasn't just the bag on my head or the very attractive (and heavy) black rubber robe I had over me to keep the hair goop off my clothes.
Some mirrors just don't flatter me. Well, actually, it's probably more the lighting than the mirror (unless we're talking about one of those fun house mirrors where everyone looks like a two-ton Tessie).
It's hard to describe, but in some mirrors in certain light, I just look horrid. It is like I can see every single bad nuance about my face and body; you know, wrinkles, dimples, scars, furrows; all of that.
So, as I was sitting there yesterday, I got to thinking about other mirrors and which ones are "safe" mirrors, which are "steer clear from" mirrors and which are "I look FAB" mirrors (not as many as these, alas).
One of the obvious "steer clear from" mirrors is any mirror in a dressing room. You'd think if department stores/clothing stores and the likes ambition was to sell clothes to women, they'd try harder to make sure that the women were flattered by their reflection in the mirror. I've been in some dressing rooms where I looked so awful in the mirror, that, I got too depressed to even try on the clothes I'd taken in and simply left. One notable exception is Nordstroms. Of course, they know how to treat people there (and you pay for it, too).
Another "steer clear from" is any mirror in a doctor or dentist office. UGH.
I have "safe" mirror (which means, basically, not hot but not terrible; probably better known as "reality") in our bathroom that can turn into a "I look FAB" mirror simply if I turn off the light. Ha ha, NO, I didn't mean because I can no longer see myself; what I meant was if it is daylight and the light is on, I look "so so", but, if I turn the light off, I look pretty damn good. I guess this means I look better in natural light.
This might be true because, hands down, one of the best mirrors I've ever seen myself in is in the bathrooms at the Durham Bulls Athletic Park. I kid you not! Every time I see myself in those mirrors, I cheer up. There is usually a lot of natural light in there (although once it gets dark outside and the lights come on, the mirror moves into the "safe" category).
Right before a ball game, the announcer always says, "Hey, Bulls fans! Have you visited the cleanest bathrooms in the Triangle?" Maybe he should add to this, "Hey, ladies! Are you feeling fat and ugly? Visit our bathrooms where we have the most flattering mirrors in the Triangle!"
Whenever I think of mirrors and women, I am reminded of two things. One is that, as she aged, the extremely vain Elizabeth I ordered all mirrors in her palaces to be either taken down or covered. It is said that she never looked at herself in a mirror again after that. Hey, not a bad strategy; out of sight, out of mind.
The other is from the movie "Titanic"; the character Rose, in her old age, is pleased to receive back some of the articles she'd lost when the Titanic sank. One of these items was a lovely and ornate silver hand mirror. She exclaims as she's admiring the back of it, "Oh, this looks just like I did the last time I saw it!" As she turns it over and looks into the mirror she adds, "The reflection has changed somewhat, however" as she puts it aside.
For a very long time, I had a habit of stopping and looking at myself in any mirror (or mirrored surface) I came across. This both greatly amused and irritated my family and friends (except, perhaps, Doc, who was more than likely fighting me for mirror space).
I've noticed that I tend to avoid mirrors now (other than when it is necessary to "check my look"; which brings to mind a lyric from a Bruce Springsteen song, "I check my look in the mirror, wanna change my hair, my clothes, my face!") I suppose I know what I look like by now and, frankly, as long as I don't have spinach stuck in my teeth or have my lipstick smeared all over my face in true Joker style, it doesn't much matter.
Except at Durham Bulls games, where, every few innings, you'll find me in the bathroom admiring myself in the mirror.
Nah, seriously, it's only because I gotta pee!