Mrs. B's High School Graduation. 30 Years Ago Today!

I suppose a lady isn't meant to admit how old she is, but, in this day and age, with 50 being the new 40 and 40 being the new 30 et al, that puts me under 40. Not to mention, I'm just happy to be alive. As should we all.

Anyway. 30 years ago. June 18, 1981. I'll never forget the day because of the obvious, 18 is the reverse of 81 (you know what I mean). Also, it is Sir. Paul McCartney's birthday; not that I really cared but Peri, my best friend in high school did. Now, the date is shared with my step-daughter's birthday, AKA The Kid (she is nineteen years old today, BTW) so I REALLY won't ever forget.

San Diego, California June 18, 1981. My Father was in town for the ceremony, he stayed next door with our neighbors. They were unusual folks, worthy of a blog topic unto themselves. Anyway, their living room is where these pictures were taken. My younger sister Kathy, also one of my best friends, was posing with us.

Somewhere I have pictures of the ceremony, post ceremony, and the party my parents had for me later that evening. What fun. My boyfriend Greg was there; as was his family and many of my family's friends. I remember that, after the party, Greg and I headed out to do whatever; we drove around and around the Mission Beach area until we finally decided to stop and have a late night snack at Denny's. I'm sure we were doing other things as well, but, this is a G-Rated post so I won't go into that.

Not too many days after, the whole fam-damily headed East to Indiana for our annual road trip to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. That particular summer, I was dropped off in Columbus, OH, where my step-mom picked me up and drove me on to Cleveland where I spent several weeks with her and my Father (who, BTW, had flown on to somewhere else after the graduation festivities; work-related, no doubt). Although I had a good time with them (as I always did), I was moping around quite a bit because I missed Greg. When I got back to San Diego, my dad started in on me about getting a summer job because he certainly didn't want me goofing off for the remaining month or so before I started college at San Diego State University. I ended up at a fast-food joint called Carl's Jr. I absolutely HATED working there and thankfully I only did so for about nine months.

I've been reading some of the articles in the local paper here in Durham about various recent high school graduates. These stories highlight both their accomplishments while in high school and their plans for the future. Some have been quite impressive, but, I must admit, they've left me feeling a bit odd. It seems the kids today are a lot older than I was when I graduated; more responsible with a heck of a lot more ambition and drive. I didn't really pick up those two traits until my mid twenties. Maybe I was just a late bloomer? But, nah, I think back on the majority of my friends and peers (at least those that I was hanging around with in the early 80s) and I don't seem to recall any of us having a lot of purpose. Here are the things I cared about that summer of '81:

1. Greg

2. Friends

3. Having fun

4. Not getting caught doing things I wasn't supposed to be doing

5. Going to the mall(s)

6. My shift at work being OVER

7. Going to the beach/getting a good tan

8. Drinking ice tea and smoking while blabbing away with Peri, Kathy and Lynda at Carl's Jr.

(interestingly enough, even though I hated working there, I loved hanging out there)

9. Avoiding responsibility

10. Avoiding thinking about anything that led me down the path to responsibility

So, yeah, thinking about college, what I was going to study, what I was going to do with the rest of my life, nope. Didn't make the list. DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! Those of you who know me now but didn't when I was a teenager can go verify this with those who did know me. Despite how well I did in high school grade-wise, I was a total flaky party girl from the moment I graduated high school until July of 1987 when I began my career in Human Resources at TRW. Just ask:

1. My parents

2. My sister Kathy

3. My best friend Peri and her sister Lynda

4. My best friends from college Kathleen and Don

5. Boyfriends I had during those years (then again, nah, don't ask them!)

So, back to the kids today. Or, even MY step-kid. They seem so darn mature. Whenever I spoke to or saw The Kid during this past year (her first at college), she usually seemed stressed out about her studies and always busy doing something that I'd probably classify as "Not Fun". I'd tell her, "Be sure to have some fun!" "I don't have time for fun!" she'd reply. "No time for fun? Perish the thought!", I thought. Heck, she's going to have plenty of time in her life to be serious and work hard. I certainly know this now and am thankful I can at least look back on my younger days and remember how much fun I had. In fact, I actually believe it prepared me to work hard later on. I was so darn rested up from having all that fun, I was ready to go full bore out for about 20 years (before I decided it was time to stop all that working crap and go have more fun!)

Anyway, maybe responsibility comes with certain eras. I'm fairly sure that my grandparents didn't have time for all the fun business, and I don't think my parents did, either. I guess those of us in the 70s and 80s were pretty lucky but times, they changed after that, it seems. My youngest brother didn't appear to have a whole heck of a lot of fun after he graduated from high school (compared to my other brother whom I think did, at least judging from all the times he asked me to buy him beer). Now, The Kid, almost twenty years later; nope, no fun.

Or, maybe she's just REALLY REALLY good at not getting caught :-)

Mrs. B

Mrs. B's Brilliant Blog: I Learned the Truth at Seventeen

One of my "favorite" posts about The Kid. Worthy of a repost, I think, now that, two years (or so) later, she's heading off to college in a month.

Mrs. B

Mrs. B's Brilliant Blog: I Learned the Truth at Seventeen: "Lately, the lyrics from a song, “At Seventeen”, by a lady named Janis Ian, that my older sister used to play over and over when we were grow..."

An Email To My Step Daughter

I don't know if she'll ever read it. It's been months since she's last responded to emails I've sent her. But, I don't know why; it just struck me tonight to send her this message. For her dad's sake, for her sake; hell, for my sake.

Mrs. B

Dear C:

It is late on a Monday evening. Normally (although there really is no "normal" in our family situation) you might have been here with us for the night. I'm sure your dad would have been pleased to see you. I know that he misses you, constantly. It never goes away; the love a parent has for a child. Ever.

You are in a tough situation. I so very much feel for you, although, I can't begin to understand how hard it has probably been for you. I was lucky; my parents decided long ago (upon divorcing; I was four) to never speak ill of the other. I'm sure it was hard on them at times because people are people and love is love and breaking up is hard to do. But, they never did speak ill of one another. The entire time I grew up. So, for me, to try to put myself in your place; in a situation where I'm sure that hasn't been true, well, it's hard for me.

So, I have to go to what I do know. Which is this. Your dad loves your more than anything. It breaks his heart that he cannot see you more than he does. He wants nothing but the very most best for you. He is willing to spend as much time as you need and want talking about whatever. He WILL do what is right by you, to the best of his ability and to the best of what is fair and reasonable. It is most unfortunate that your mom will not talk to him about important things regarding your life and your future. But, no one can change that, except your mom.

I know, from what he's told me, that the two of you had a very special bond when you were younger. I know that things might be confusing to you now about why he left your mom and all; but, you must know he did not, could not, would not, ever, ever, ever, leave you. He has not. He thinks about you every single day.

You are growing into a young woman now. Lots of things have changed since you were little but certainly what has not changed is that both your mom and dad love you very much. And, now, you have a step-mother who loves you as well. Not to mention your B grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousins and your new step-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

My request of you, to a smart young lady, is to think about how to include all of these folks in your life; not to the exclusion of your mom's family, rather, as an inclusion.

In this world, sweetheart, we all need as many people as possible in our lives to be there for us, love us, and watch our backs.

Love,

Your Stepmother

My Psycho Cell Phone (And The Kid's Cell Phone Saga)

About a year and a half ago, I stupidly bought a LG Chocolate Mint phone ("mint" meaning it is green). Why they called this particular model "Chocolate" is beyond me, but, anyway. A month or so before I got mine, The Kid got the red "Cherry Chocolate" version. I thought it looked pretty cool (which is always a very bad reason for buying anything as I should have learned when I bought that piece of crap Karman Ghia 20-something years ago).

Roughly six months ago, The Kid started having trouble with her phone. Basically, the four primary "controls" on the front of the phone stopped working. Well, they are critical to the function of the phone so, she went into the Verizon store to try and get it replaced. Thus ensued a big bro ha ha whereby she ended up with a new phone (same model and color) BUT her old battery AND she got charged $50 to "switch the service to the half-new phone". We managed to get that $50 refunded, BTW.

Well, the old battery (which previously had worked just fine in the old phone) did not work in the "new" phone (it wouldn't hold a charge). Luckily (we thought), she had her truly old phone (the phone she had before she got the first Chocolate) which had worked just fine but, of course, she had wanted something "cool" when her two years were up. This time, Mr. B switched the service from the "new" Chocolate to the old old phone (free of charge, BTW, if you do it on-line).

After a month, she in essence wore the buttons out on this phone with all her text messaging (she sends/receives HUNDREDS UPON HUNDREDS of messages per month; which is why we went to the unlimited text messaging in and out of network plan).

So, Mr, B transferred her service to HIS old phone (a very uncool (not even a camera) but still functional phone.

Not too long after that, she started to complain that IT wouldn't hold a charge. Frankly, I thought she was just embarrassed by it and was gunning for a new phone.

Then, her friend gave her one of HER old phones so Mr. B transferred the service to it; a much "cooler" phone.

Alas, this one also won't hold a charge and half the time the charger does not work (I witnessed this myself).

Enter the discussions (pleas) for a new Voyager phone. She's up for a new phone in April or a new phone at discounted pricing next week. Mr. B decided that since she's been doing so well in school, we'd help her pay for the new phone but she had to wait until next week (hopefully it will be cheaper).

All along I was thinking how lucky I was that MY Chocolate phone was doing ok; I don't particularly care for it (I won't ever buy a slider phone again) but, it's serviceable enough.

Maybe a month ago, my phone started to do really weird things. Namely, it calls people on its own! Yes, seriously! Its favorite people to call are Mr. B and my dad, however, if I call someone (or someone calls me), it will immediately call that person back after we hang up. Some other things (which are happening more and more frequently) are; when I open up my contact list, it starts cycling through them at high speed and won't stop until I close the slider. The other day it sent a text message to Mr. B before I'd finished writing it (he rec'd a message from me with "D" and that's it (I was going to ask him a question starting with "Do")). Now, two of my four primary buttons on the front only work from time to time.

So, it seems I, too, will soon be in the market for a new phone. Does anyone have a recommendation for a good phone?

In the meantime, don't be surprised if my psycho phone gives y'all a call one day!

Mrs. B