Of Drums and Dumb-Dumbs

Upfront disclosure. This is a rant.

Neighborhoods are interesting places. I would imagine that, in any particular one, a person might find that 80%-90% of the folks that live there are decent people. They take pride in home ownership. Their properties are well-maintained and landscaped. They mow their laws, they rake their leaves, they plant nice trees, shrubs, plants and flowers. They put appropriate holiday decorations up and out and then promptly remove them when the holiday is passed. If they live in deed-restricted community, they abide by the covenants. Homeowner Association Dues are paid promptly. If they have children, they don't allow said children to walk across their neighbors's properties or drop wrappers from their ice cream bars or Halloween candy on the sidewalks. If they own dogs, they keep them from barking at unreasonable hours and pick up after them on walks. There might be neighborhood block parties from time to time; people getting together who, although they are not necessarily friends, genuinely like each other well enough to share a beer or two on a sunny summer Saturday afternoon while eating a variety of BBQ fare from a pitch-in picnic. Folks drive carefully and within the speed limit up and down the neighborhood streets, knowing there are children at play. Those that utilize the community pool are respectful of others doing the same; keeping an eye on their kids to ensure no horseplay or rough-housing, minding the lifeguards and not attempting to get into the pool area off-hours.

When Mr. B and I moved into our current neighborhood, we knew, since it's relatively large, that we'd likely run into some issues; the 10%-20% of people who, frankly, either just don't give a crap about anything or have a sense of entitlement that they are special and are not required to follow the rules of the neighborhood. Even before Mr. B decided to sit on the Board of Directors for the Homeowner's Association, we each had noticed several things going on within the neighborhood that ranged in the annoyance factor from slightly irritating to really driving us up the wall. Maybe this was why he made the choice to get involved; hoping to make things better.

Now that he's been on the Board going on two years, he's at his limit of tolerance of dealing with the contingent of idiots in this community. I was at mine a while back.

Maybe I'm simple, but, I believe if there are rules that you signed up for, you comply. If there is something that you find unreasonable, you challenge it, but, in a thoughtful, process-oriented fashion.

Those 10%-20% I've mentioned apparently believe otherwise.

In addition to the what I refer to "lazy-ass" syndrome (not picking up newspapers off their driveways or removing flyers adhered to their mail boxes or moving trash and recycling bins back behind their house for days after the pick-up people came through), these people seem to believe that, even though they signed at closing a document agreeing to follow all neighborhood covenants, it's ok for them to:

1. Park in the street on a regular basis. This is a big, big problem because our streets are relatively narrow in many parts of the neighborhood. There are many people who do this, and, over the past year or so, the HOA has been on a campaign to get them to stop. They've received warning letters. They've had the opportunity to come to a Board meeting and explain why they've been in violation and why they should receive a variance. Many of them don't respond to any of the communication they've received and simply continue to park in the street. Others call up the management company and threaten lawsuits. Still others have shown up to the meeting and then been thrown out for becoming disruptive. One home owner, who happens to live in a Cul-de-Sac, feels he should be able to park on the street because he's "not in anyone's way". Forgetting the fact that this isn't a viable reason for a variance, it's isn't true. From our vantage point up "on the hill" above him, I've seen how difficult it's been for delivery trucks, trash pick-up, etc., to maneuverer around his big hulking freaking SUV. Another guy down the street from us has something like six cars so, he feels it's ok for him to park them on the street because where else is he going to park them? Except, he ALWAYS has open space in his driveway. He next tried the "I've got a Handicap Sticker"; seeming to think this meant he could park the car with the sticker anywhere, even if it wasn't a legal parking space. I'm convinced that one of these "gentlemen" is our Beer Can Bandit (someone on occasion throws an empty beer can into our yard; usually, it's around the time the Board has been sending violation letters out about the parking situation). I really, really wish someone who has been complaining about people parking on the street would stand up in the open meeting and challenge these idiots. That's what it is going to take (receiving several violations of $100 each hasn't cut it, they simply don't pay it). Someone should say, "Excuse me, Joe Blow, I also live in this neighborhood and I really want to understand why you feel that you don't have to abide by the rules, but I do?" Of course, no one does. They just bitch and complain on the Yahoo Message Board.

Obviously, parking on the street is a big issue. So big, in fact, that the Board is holding a special hearing meeting in early December. After that, everyone that continues to park on the street will start to receive regular violations and fines. And, if they don't pay the fines, it will be sent to collections. Eventually, their homes can be foreclosed on by the HOA if the fines are not paid. I can only imagine the bro-ha-ha that will ensue. It seems to me it'd just be easier to stop parking on the damn street.

2. Not paying dues and fines. Obviously, Mr. B cannot (and doesn't) share with me who, exactly, is delinquent. He has, though, told me some of the excuses (all of them lame) and that several of those who refuse to pay (or even work with the Board to set up a payment plan) drive around in new BMWs or Mercedes. Oh, and another thing about the dues. Relatively speaking, they are nominal. Compared to what I was paying in California, even compared to what we pay for the townhouse we own in North Durham, they are a drop in the bucket. And yet, another thing that people bitch about is how nothing gets done in the neighborhood; the landscaping is crappy, the streets are a mess, there aren't enough pool chairs at the pool (a place I've NEVER seen crowded in the four years we've lived here, BTW) and we're paying ALL THIS MONEY in dues! Maybe we should have this group of people go after the other group of people who refuse to pay them.

3. Erect structures (sheds, fences, additions or a new mail box) or make visible changes to their property (expanded driveways, trees, extensive landscaping) without getting prior approval from the Board. Living in a planned community means there is supposed to be a certain "look" to the place. Yes, we're all individuals, this isn't Stepford, but, there are rules to be followed. More than once, Mr. B's had to get into it with a home owner who has built something without first getting the okay. These people actually have the audacity to drive by when Mr. B is out working in our yard and bitch at him because they didn't do what they were supposed to do and he called them on it. One of them was the guy who appears to be running the used car lot; he erected a shed that a) did not match the color of his house and b) the siding was vertical instead of horizontal. I told Mr. B that these folks are lucky they don't live in some of the other neighborhoods I've lived in; they'd be required to rip out/take down whatever they did, at their expense, even if it were ultimately approved. Too bad, so sad.

So, this is the dumb-dumb part.

Drums. Our next door neighbor, a guy we do genuinely like even though for the life of me, I cannot figure out his family situation, has a three year old son. A sweet little boy; when we see him, he's always friendly and smiling. The last few months or so, he must have received some drums. Many times throughout the day, I can hear him banging away on them. Our houses are close enough that, especially if it's relatively quiet, you can hear it. And, one good thing about our neighborhood, it IS usually fairly quiet.

So, anyway, a few weeks ago, we started to hear this banging at what we consider unacceptable times. Such as, after 9:00 pm. Or, very early in the morning. Once, it started at 6:30 am and lasted for an hour. The next morning, it began at FIVE THIRTY AM and again lasted for over an hour. After that, I'd had it. Upon thinking about a reasonable way to approach the matter, I decided to send his father (who is a city cop, BTW) an email and inquire as to the loud banging we'd been hearing. I phrased it in such a way as to express concern more than annoyance; hoping it'd give him the chance to save face but also take care of it.

It worked. We exchanged a few emails; he said it was his son and his drums, he was really sorry, he'd see to it.

Yey! Or, so I thought.

Last night around 10:45 pm, the freaking banging started up again. Dad wasn't home (we'd seen him leave for work earlier that afternoon), which means the child was home with either his mom, a sibling, a babysitter, who knows. Who cares? Whoever they were, they must be deaf. And, what the heck was a three year old doing up at 10:45 at night, anyway? After a bit of "discussion", Mr. B went over and rang the doorbell. No one answered so I dug out the father's phone number (which he'd given me in one of the emails). When he answered, I told him it was almost 11:00 and we were hearing that banging again. He told me he'd call the house and "take care of it". It did stop, but, it started back up around 8:30 am. I guess this was "ok", we were awake, anyway, but, who knows what's going to happen? Seriously, how hard can it be to take a drum away from a child at bedtime?

Drums. Dumb-dumbs. Drums. Dumb-dumbs.

End of rant.

Mrs. B

Conversations with Idiots

The following has taken place over the course of the last month or so, culminating in two extremely frustrating (and somewhat laughable) conversations this afternoon.

Background: Mr. B and I oh so foolishly purchased a timeshare in 2006. Originally, it seemed like a fantastic deal at a beautiful resort in Cabo San Lucas. It IS beautiful; we love going there. The problem is, we’ve discovered it is very difficult to book our week (which can take place anytime between 1 May and 31 October) for a time when we want to go UNLESS we do so at least a year in advance. Also, since Cabo San Lucas is fairly far away from Durham, we end up paying close to $800 per person for an airline ticket. And, the joys of airline travel these days. $1600 for cattle car coach? Yuck.

In hindsight, I’d not purchase it, or, at least, not the one in Mexico. But, what is done is done. We’ve discovered that it is relatively (at least up to now) easy to deposit our week with a company that facilitates timeshare week exchanges. The concept is neat; you deposit your week and then search through the vast database of available resorts WORLDWIDE. You are not required to exchange for the same period of time, either; so, if we’d prefer to go on vacation in November or February, we could. There is an exchange fee (which, along with the annual maintenance fees for the timeshare seem to be accelerating at a rapid rate).

After the Puerto Vallarta disaster, we decided to remain state-side for our next two major vacations; going to Escondido, California (near San Diego) in October/November of 2008 and Orlando, Florida last year. In both instances, we exchanged our one bedroom unit for a two bedroom unit in extremely nice resorts.

This year, Mr. B started to get nostalgic about Cabo San Lucas so I called the timeshare to make an RSVP, hopefully around our 5^th anniversary in May. No such luck. Nothing was available at Villa del Arco until the middle of July. I went ahead and made the RSVP knowing we could always change our mind, deposit the week, and go elsewhere anytime for up to two years.

I got curious about whether there really was no availability at the resort so I did an online search (via Expedia or some such) and discovered, not surprisingly, that there were units available the week we’d wanted to go. I called up the timeshare and asked them what was going on; why couldn’t WE get an RSVP when there appeared to be space available? I received the song and dance about the developers holding back a certain number of units (don’t sell them) and those are the units that are on travel sites. Uh-huh. Did I really believe this? But, what could I do.

Not too long after, we decided we’d rather try Cancun as many of our friends and family go there and really love it. Plus, it’s closer (airfare is about ½ of what is costs to get to Cabo). Or, we thought, perhaps we’d exchange for a cruise. The bottom line; we wanted to go in May so that Mr. B would have a nice week or so to decompress from busy season and we could celebrate our 5^th anniversary (the Italy trip, as an aside, is on hold until Mr. B retires).

I went to Interval International’s web site (the timeshare exchange company) to poke around to see what might be available around May 15^th. Guess what? I couldn’t search because my week wasn’t deposited. The thing is, I didn’t WANT to deposit my week until I knew whether or not there would be something out there we’d really want to do. To deposit the week means automatically losing the RSVP at Villa del Arco in Cabo. I called Interval to ask them if there was any way at all to find out what might be out there without having to deposit the week.

No. That’s the way the system is set up. End of statement. Not very helpful. The representative went on to tell me that maybe if I contacted my timeshare, they’d give me a “fake” confirmation/date so that I could at least “shop”.

I contacted my timeshare to ask if they’d do this.

No.

We discussed it, and decided to go ahead and deposit the week, reasoning that if we found something in Cancun, we’d at least save some money. Cabo will always be there (hopefully).

I called the timeshare back the next day and told them we wanted to deposit the week with Interval International.

Before I go any further, let me explain some things about calling the timeshare.

First, even though we are Gold Members, it takes forever to talk to someone; endless navigation through menus, submenus, and listening to a recording tell you that you could probably be doing this on-line (BTW, their web site is even worse than their phone center). Second, English does not appear to be the primary language of anyone I’ve spoken to over the years. Next, half the time, they provide erroneous information. And, when you first talk to a person, they ask you the same questions: Your account. Your name. Your address. Your phone number. Your email address. Then, they inform you of your on-line user name (thank you very much, I didn’t realize what it was…dolts!) and, lastly, tell you that you could be completing your transaction on-line and avoid the wait. Except, you morons, there are certain transaction that you cannot do on-line, like, apparently, depositing your week with Interval International.

Anyway, I finally got a rep, told him what I wanted to do. He says, “Well, all you have to do is call Interval International and give them the confirmation number/check in-date for your RSVP in Cabo”. Uh, no, that’s never worked before. He goes off the phone, then comes back and says, “Oh, I guess there are usually problems with Villa del Arco, I’ll have to manually do it”. Ok…

He puts me on hold and then comes back and says, “My supervisor says we cannot deposit Villa del Arco so we’ll have to cancel that RSVP and give you one for another of our resorts”. Me: “What do you mean?” Him: We don’t allow exchanges for Villa del Arco because it’s an elite resort and we want owners to always be able to use their week if they wish. How would you feel if you wanted to use your week and you couldn’t because someone from another timeshare was using the week?” Hello? How do I feel when I try to make an RSVP for my home resort and I can never get the date I want? And, oh by the way, no special promos EVER apply to our resort (buy one week, get one free).

Whatever. He makes an RSVP for the sister resort in Cabo. I ask him if he’s going to deposit the week in Interval. He tells me (again) that I can do it now that he’s switched it from Villa del Arco. WHAT?

FINE!

A day or so later, I start playing around on Interval’s site. I enter the confirmation number and check-in date and start “shopping”. Unfortunately, it quickly became apparent that we were not going to be able to get anything in Cancun. So, I started playing around with the cruises and came across one in May leaving from Norfolk, VA (yey, no airfare!)

After I checked out the cost (cruises are not a direct exchange; in addition to swapping your week, you have to pay more per person depending on the cruise), I looked on-line at sites such as Cruise.com and realized it wouldn’t cost us THAT much more to keep the week in Interval and just book the cruise somewhere else.

But, to be sure, I called Interval to ask if there were any other “hidden” fees for cruise exchanges and to ask about depositing my week.

Rep: You need to call your timeshare so that they’ll contact us to deposit the week. Me: That’s not what they said. Rep: That’s what has to happen. Me: Well, I have the confirmation number and check-in date so at least I've been able to see what is available. Rep: You're not supposed to do that. Me: That is what someone else there told me to do. Rep: Well, that is wrong. You need to get your timeshare to deposit your week before you do that. Me: Ok, fine, I’ll do that. Are there any more fees for cruise exchanges other than the cost per person and the regular exchange fee? Rep: The cost per person does not include taxes or port charges. Me: Ok, so, is there any other fee?” Rep: No. Me: What, in general, can I expect to pay for taxes. Rep: I have no idea. Me: You have NO idea? Rep: It varies by cruise line.

I call the timeshare AGAIN. I tell guy who answers this time that I need him to deposit my week with Interval.

Him: You need to call Interval…

Me: I just called them and they said you needed to do it.

Him: That’s not right.

Me: I don’t care! Someone get my week deposited.

Him: How about I get Interval on a conference call and we’ll get it taken care of? Me: THANK YOU!

After waiting five minutes or so, he comes back on the line and informs me he’s talked to his supervisor (the mysterious “supervisor” who seems to know all) and was told he’d have to electronically deposit my week and it would be done within hours. But, to do so, he had to cancel my RSVP. Me: That’s not what’s been done in the past. Him: Well, that’s what has to be done now. Check with Interval in a few hours and your week will be there.

Uh, hmmm…do we REALLY think so?

I haven’t checked yet since I’ve convinced myself booking the cruise elsewhere is a better deal in the long run. The week, once it shows up, will be available for two years so we can always use it later.

What a goat rope!

Mrs. B

Going Green? They Wish!

I know that I've blogged about this before. Our local newspaper, The News and Observer, publishes a free supplement called The Durham News. Up until this week, they delivered it to every single house in our neighborhood (and I'm sure many other neighborhoods in Durham) each and every Saturday. The problem is, most people (apparently), are not interested in reading this (which I'm sure is the newspaper's hope; that someone will read it and decide to subscribe to the paper itself). In fact, the majority of the people that live in my neighborhood simply ignore the supplement, leaving it wherever the carrier threw it (sometimes in driveways but more often than not on the sidewalk, in lawns, or in the street). After a good rain (and we've had our share of rain) and being run over many times by the lazy residents, these supplements evolve into moldering, soggy messes. Quite the eyesore. So, it's become our mission (me, Mr. B and Lucy) to pick up these papers while out on our walks and toss them high up onto driveways where it is more likely the resident might actually pick them up. Sometimes, if one has been in a driveway for a long period of time, I'll pick it up and throw it onto their front porch. Yes, there are a few houses that, despite these efforts, NEVER pick them up and they'll probably be there in 100 years.

Anyway, several months ago, I wrote a letter to the editor complaining about this; not just the eyesore but the general waste (this after reading they were laying off people at the newspaper). At that point in time, we were getting the supplement twice; as part of our normal subscription (tucked inside the Saturday paper) and then also an extra supplement thrown by itself onto our driveway. I did receive an email back from the paper apologizing for the duplication and, since then, they have not delivered the extra supplement. However, my broader point to them had been they shouldn't be delivering these supplements, period, given the tough economic times.

This week, they started to deliver the supplement on Wednesdays as well. So, now we've got two days per week of these damn things to contend with. And, as usual, our neighbors, for the most part, ignore them and leave them laying where they fell.

Now, here is the ironic part of the whole thing. In today's supplement, they introduced a new columnist, who, apparently, is going to write about things Durham can do to "Go Green". Additionally, in the Home and Garden section of the regular paper, there was a focus on "Green" activities, and, I kid you not, one of articles talked about how to "eliminate the paper trail". Seriously!

So, I decided to try sending yet another letter to the editor. This is what I sent:

Going Green? You Wish!

I find it extremely ironic that you've introduced the new "Green Durham" column AND your Home and Garden section today focused on going Green in the same week that you began to deliver The Durham News supplement on both Wednesdays and Saturdays. As if one day of unwanted newspapers cluttering up driveways, sidewalks and streets (your carriers have zero aim) isn't enough, now there are two days a week to contend with!

How many carbon footprints is your organization leaving on the Earth while delivering these UNWANTED newspapers?

If you don't believe that they are unwanted, take a gander through any neighborhood where you deliver them and check out how many of them are moldering away outside in wet, sloppy, mounds.

Thanks for contributing to the general unsightliness of our city's neighborhoods.

And you think you are going Green? Give me a break!

We'll see if it does any good. I'm sure it won't, but, you never know (and at least I felt better after sending it).

Tomorrow, it's back to throwing papers at people's front doors

:-)

Mrs. B

Want Something Done Right? Do It Yourself!

Someone needs to give this book to all the idiots who have attempted to clean my house

This old adage certainly appears to hold true regarding my experience with cleaning people. I bet my sister in law Shannon can chime in here with stories of her own! Still, despite the fact that I KNEW this, I kept giving it the old college try (mostly because I didn't feel like going back to cleaning my house after not doing it, really, since August; however, given the slip-shod workmanship (which I'll describe in a second) it probably wasn't all that clean, anyway!)

Here is how the drama unfolded:

I started doing more than 20 hours per week of consulting work. I really did not want to spend my off time cleaning the house. So, we agreed to try out Merry Maids as I'd used them with some success in California and also we used them to clean up the townhouse after we moved out and they did a pretty good job. I had given some consideration to using a smaller outfit but, after listening to my sister in law Shannon's tales of HER house cleaner, I decided against it.

If you've never used a professional house cleaner (maid company, cleaning company; same thing), here is how it usually works:

They come and give you a "free" (as if you'd pay for it) in-home estimate. This is when you walk them through your house, room by room, explaining everything you do/don't want done. They also provide you with some sort of check list at this point which details everything they do each and every time they come to clean (dust blinds, dust everything, clean sinks, microwaves until "sparkling" (they all like to use this word), vacuum, mop, etc., etc., etc.)

After this is over, they tell you how much they'll charge for a) once a week (as if) b) every two weeks (most people do this) and c) every month.

When the Merry Maid rep was here, I explicitly told her that NOTHING was to be done to the wood floors except mopping with a dry mop (we'd finally gotten the wood floors replaced in June; another long tale of woe that was!) I saw her write it down. She also told me that since my house was already in great condition (this was just after the big family reunion and we'd cleaned it from top to bottom), she'd waive the first time extra cleaning fee of $55 (I guess some houses are pretty disgusting). BTW, they charged us for that, anyway, and I had to get AMEX in on the action in order to get it reimbursed.

We signed up for the every two week schedule and the first time the crew came (we were told we'd get the same crew each time), they did a wonderful job. I was so happy!

Then, the next time, disaster struck. I know I already blogged about this so I won't belabor the point here except to say they used Murphy's Oil Soap on the wood floor which really wasn't good, was it? Not for them. They ended up paying us enough money to replace the floor again (which we've yet to do since Mr. B can, when he works at it, get the floor clean enough so we figure we'll live with it for now).

I decided to try Molly Maid (whom I'd also used in California and was relatively satisfied with).

Same drill. A rep came out, we walked around the house, etc. In addition to the strict instructions about the wood floor, I told him the cleaning people had to make sure they kept the front door shut at all times since we'd just gotten Pete and Lily (and Pete, in particular, appeared to be an escape artist).

No problem!

The first time they came, they did an okay job. At least they didn't screw up the floors. But, there were some small things that I emailed to complain about. I didn't receive a follow up email or call but the next time they came (January), things seemed a bit better (although I noticed we were getting different crews each time when they, too, had told me we'd get the same crew).

Along comes February and apparently someone didn't tell this new crew (obviously not the same crew, huh?) about what to do with the floors and the doors as they mopped the wood floor with water (and something else) and left the front door wide open. They also left all of our pictures askew, blinds every which way, no liners in the trash cans and a big glob of tomato sauce on the kitchen island (boobie trap courtesy of sneaky Mrs. B).

This time I exchanged emails with the General Manager who assured me the next time (if I gave them a next time, he sure hoped that I would), he'd send out his BEST crew and they'd be our crew from now on. I told him he was lucky the other crew hadn't appeared to have screwed up the wood floor (he doesn't know how lucky he was; hmmm....did I just blow a steady income stream concept?) Anyway, we finally decided to have them come out 3/2.

Then, it snowed 3/1 so we rescheduled for 3/24. He told me he'd waive the extra charge (since it would have been almost two months since the February cleaning). Nice dude, huh? Yeah, right.

Ok, so, this morning. Sure enough, a new crew (three of them) shows up at 9:00. I spoke briefly to them and left for my dentist appointment.

When I got home, they were gone. This is what I found:

1. Dirty kitchen sinks, both sides. One side had gunk in the drain and the other had food in the rubber flaps (leading down into the garbage disposal).

2. Streaks and spots on the granite counters.

3. Dirty stove top. They didn't clean it at all.

4. No liners in the bathroom trashcans.

5. One broken crystal cat figurine (with a note from one of the crew apologizing and telling me it was "ok" if I wanted to call the office about it (as if I needed her permission to do so!))

Of course I called! I talked with the owner this time (after first talking to the office manager).

Here is a summary of that conversation:

Him: I understand from Kathleen (the office manager) that the crew missed some things and that maybe a figurine was broken.

Me: Not MAYBE, it WAS broken, one of your employees left me a note explaining how she'd broken it.

Him: Oh. Well, ok, so, they didn't leave a trash liner? That happens sometimes.

Me: Yes, apparently it does since it's happened here before. Also, they didn't clean the sink or the stove top.

Him: I'm sorry. We can send out another crew to fix it.

Me: No thank you. I'd rather you send me my key back and provide me some sort of reimbursement for my figurine and the fact I'm not happy with the service.

Him: Ok. Yes, I see Ken (the GM) had left many notes here on your account. I'm really sorry they didn't do a good job. How is the floor?

Me: It appears that it is fine.

Him: I see, well, I'm sorry we couldn't satisfy you.

Me: It looks like no one there is capable of cleaning my house better than I can.

Him: I will send you a check and your key later this week.

So, I'm back to cleaning my own house. Frankly, after all of this aggravation, it probably won't bother me so much now, especially if I go back to my MIL's suggestion of having a schedule and sticking with it (not too much every day; a little something a few days a week, etc.)

I doubt, after this, that I will ever engage cleaners again UNLESS it is for a one time deal (whatever that might be, maybe similar to the move out clean we had done on Saratoga).

I'll wrap this up with one of my most favorite stories of (mis-guided) cleaning people.

Torrance, California. I was living in my condo with my cats Nigel and Clyde. I had the service come once a month (we were not terribly dirty inhabitants!)

One night (after the maids had been there that day), I was laying in bed reading. I happened to look up at my dresser and noticed on of my figurines (a shepherdess) looked cock-eyed; namely, her body was pointed frontward but her head was pointed backwards.

I got out of bed and, upon further investigation, realized she'd been broken roughly in half, the obvious culprit being the cleaning people, who, for whatever reason, decided to try and hide the fact they'd broken her (not very well, I might add, since they put her head on backwards).

The next day, I called the cleaning company and spoke with the manager about getting reimbursed for the damage:

Me: I'd like to report that one of my figurines was broken during yesterday's cleaning and want to know how to file a damage claim.

Her: Well, let me see. Hmmm (rustling through papers). Oh, I see here that you have two cats. Are you sure one of your cats didn't break it?

Me: Look, lady, are you suggesting one or both of my cats knocked over the figurine, broke it, and then put the head back on top of it?

Her: Uh....

Me: And, anyway, believe me; IF my cats were physically capable of even doing this, you can rest assured they would have been smart enough to point the head in the right direction!

Her: Ok, ok, how much is it worth....

Obviously, I fired them, too.

Ok, onward, upward; back to Swiffering, vacuuming, cleaning toilets and the like.

Works for me.

Mrs. B

A Victory...But Is The War Won Yet?

As you all know, we've been having a time of it with our former tenants (the old bat, her son, and the daughter in law). I've not written anything lately because we've been going back and forth with them (via our lawyer) about this situation. Our lawyer sent them a letter towards the end of March demanding payment and threatening litigation if they did not pay up. The dumb-ass daughter in law (in my opinion, she's the one behind the whole fiasco) wrote back (in the guise of being the old bat) throwing up all these excuses, complaints, denials, etc. It was pretty laughable, actually, especially as, at the end of the letter, she asked for a copy of the lease because she'd "misplaced" hers. So, she was making all of these assertions and she didn't even have this legal document in front of her.

The lawyer sent another letter basically telling them none of "her" points were valid, she still owed the money, and that she had one last chance to pay it or she would be sued. And, oh, by the way; the price tag will continue to rise due to legal fees, court costs, etc.

Well, this morning the lawyer phoned Mr. B to say the old bat HERSELF called him. She said there was no way she could afford to pay us the lump sum amount because she was on a fixed income. But, she said she would be able to pay us $X amount per month until it was paid off.

The best part was she admitted she had done something wrong.

So, we've agreed to this and of course she'll be charged interest and any further legal fees required in order to draw up a legal and binding document requiring her to pay us $X per month.

I think this is a victory; we can't be sure until we actually start receiving consistent monthly payments, but, even if she signs this and doesn't pay, we've got an admission of wrong-doing which would only help us if we eventually did end up having to sue the pants off the old bat.

But, I will put on my optimist's cap today and be thankful. And, also, be glad that both Mr. B and I have the kahonies to stand up for what is right (we've got our parents to thank for instilling that in us!)

Mrs. B

Here's a Quarter...Call Someone Who Gives a Crap!

That is, if you can even find a pay phone these days.

I won't blog about this too much, just on the off chance that our idiotic former tenants can actually figure out how to track down my Blog. But, given the fact that I don't think they could find their butts with both hands, it's doubtful.

Bottom line.

Our lawyer sent them a letter dictating all of their no-nos and what we wanted in compensation. A fairly large sum.

He also told them that if he didn't receive said payment from them by a certain date, they'd be sued the following day.

Needless to say, he did hear from them, but, their response was, in a word,

LAUGHABLE.

Basically, it was a pity ploy; almost an appeal (to OUR lawyer, mind) to look at their side of the story and consider how mean the B's were to them and how we don't have any compassion.

A long, violin accompanied sob song about The Old Bat's physically disabilities, how they didn't know she'd have such trouble living in the property because they rented it sight unseen (what, did they just fall of the stupid truck on top of it all?), and, get this, she couldn't even take a bath there because she couldn't get into the tub (too deep) and she couldn't stand up long enough to take a shower.

So, she started developing body sores and ended up having to be driven across town (to one of the two other houses she owns, I guess) to take a bath.

Hello? Did you ever hear of those little stools you can buy to put into showers? In fact, that shower HAS a seat built into the wall.

Anyway, this was the first time we'd heard this one, but, it doesn't matter because IT DOESN'T MATTER! None of this was valid enough reason to walk away from her legal and financial obligations. And, of course, she did walk away; she slunk away, hoping we'd never find her or follow up on this.

Of course, we DID find her, and, now she's "quite shocked" at several of our "allegations".

Like what, Batty? That you owe us money and we want it back? That we aren't a charitable organization? That you lied about your cat being declawed? That you have sub-standard ideas of what constitutes "clean"?

The best part? The letter was written WITHOUT them having the lease in front of them. Turns out they "misplaced" it. They actually had the nerve to ask our lawyer to send them a copy!

Well, they'll get our response soon; basically it's "Stop dicking around and pay up or we're gonna sue you".

Mrs. B

Neighborhood Annoyances: Final

Backing out of my driveway this morning reminded me of one of my biggest pet peeves in this neighborhood and that is people that park their (extra) cars on the street such that it makes it nearly impossible for others to either back out of their driveways (without making a zillion contortions) and/or drive safely down the street without risk of pegging a parked car. We've had issues with the people that live across from us before parking their huge SUV on the street. We asked them not to several times, they continued to do it, so we complained to the HOA and they received a violation letter. For the most part, they stopped parking out there until recently. Their oldest son got a "new" car and so now it's parked out there all of the time. I don't understand why these people don't "get it". Frankly, I think they're just stupid. So, now we have to decide whether or not to complain AGAIN. Oh, by the way, the kid wrecked his first "new" car and this one is already banged up, too. And, the rear end of his mother's SUV looks a sight. Must run in the family. Maybe they wouldn't notice if we took a sledge hammer to both of these cars? Better yet, "dad's" Caddy!

Cars makes me think of another irritating thing; people that drive WAY TOO FAST up and down the streets around here. Not just the residents, but also the contruction workers. This is, of course, an incredibly dangerous thing to do because, as mentioned before, there are a lot of pets wandering around but even more of a danger are all of the small children playing in the street. Why people think it is okay to drive 50 in a 25 zone is beyond me but it is (to borrow a tag from Mr. B) a "recipe for disaster" just waiting to happen.

More on breaking rules. Everyone is required to get approval to make any changes to the exterior of their house or to add anything to their property that is visible to one or more other houses. This basically means fences, sheds, screened in porches/sun rooms, fountains (yes, we actually do have one house that has a stone fountain outside their house), children's play equipment (swing sets, slides, etc.) and swimming pools. Also, any significant landscaping activity requires approval. Does anyone around here actually GET approval? Well, we did for our sun room, but, it's pretty obvious that most people DON'T get approval judging from some of the tacky objects around and the shoddy workman/workwoman ship. Many of the fences that were put up are already falling down/sagging in places. Again, some folks just have a "the rules don't apply to ME" attitude and they don't care that their property looks junky and thus brings down the apperance of the entire neighborhood.

Finally, and this is a biggie, there were MANY morons in this joint that were ignoring the water restrictions. I say "were" because, as far as I can tell, no one has been watering for the past several months. However, back in November or so when the restrictions were implemented (and notification of said restrictions were all over the place in the news, in the paper, in the water bills), people were STILL watering their lawns (one idiot was actually watering the open grassy area NEXT to his house). I, of course, took it as my civic duty to rat them out (this included two houses on our street). So, they likely got some sort of communication from The City of Durham about knocking it off; maybe even a fine (I hope so, anyway).

Ok, thus ends my rant (at least for now) about my neighborhood. I'm sure most people that live in a neighborhood/development have similar beefs. Which is really, really sad. Why can't people do what they are supposed to do?

I told The Kid this morning (while attempting to get out of our driveway)that I could really understand why people move to more rural environments where they only have to deal with deers and ducks.

Mrs. B