Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Ducks and Discipline




Awhile back, my Father asked me what I thought were a few of my life-changing moments.  My first reaction was to list the obvious; the day I met my husband Mark, for example, or, the afternoon my stepmother Margot passed away.  But, as I continued to think about it, I realized these were not necessarily life-changing moments in and of themselves, but they were either the result of something else OR they would gradually take me down another path. I suppose, then, that I don’t believe that there are many moments that are life-changing; rather, there are a series of moments or chain of events that eventually lead one to making a significant change.  Of course, since what we tend to remember is the catalyst or the last straw; perhaps that can be defined as the particular moment in the chain of events that set the change in motion.

Thought about in this light, there haven’t been that many of these; roughly one per decade of my life.  Here is the first one.

1975.  I was in the second semester of my 6th grade year in Lexington, Kentucky. We’d moved there the fall prior and up to this point in time, it’s safe to say I wasn’t the best student in the world.  It wasn’t that I was stupid, rather, I hadn’t really been taught well; for, as much as I love my memories of growing up in San Diego, the elementary school I attended during the crucial learning years of 3rd-5th grade wasn’t all that impressive.  I remember having huge class sizes of kids spanning at least two and sometimes three grades. In 4th grade, my sister (who was in 6th grade) and I were in the same class.  There were obviously too many students for the teachers to handle and   frequently, what we learned literally came out of a box.  It was something referred to as “S.R.A” and I’m a bit sketchy on the details but I vaguely recall that this was supposedly some sort of experimental learning project.  Lessons, whether they were math, reading, writing or social studies, were printed on these color-coded cards, with all the cards contained in a box.  During the time of day allotted, we’d go to the box designated for our level and pick out our own lesson card.  Although others I’ve talked to about this are familiar with this self-paced learning approach, most of them who experienced it were much, much older than I had been.

So, when I showed up at Glendale Elementary School in the fall of 1974, I was woefully under prepared for what was to come.  Although I liked my primary homeroom teacher Mrs. Edwards, I had no such regard for any of the other teaches.  I flat out loathed the gym teacher Coach Williams and was fairly terrified of my English teacher, Mr. Jordan.  Thankfully, Mrs. Edwards was an interesting and creative teacher; being in her class taught me how to listen closely, take good notes and do all of my homework.  However, it was the terrifying Mr. Jordan who provided the catalyst for my first life course correction by assigning me a term paper on ducks. 

Mrs. Edwards was doing a fine job in capturing my attention while in the classroom, however, I was still pretty lazy outside the classroom, especially with the subject matters I didn’t much care for or with anything that required a lot of effort.  Honestly, I didn’t know how to methodically go about going from nothing to something; to figure out the steps to get from A to B, and I didn't think I wanted to.  In fact, although I was afraid of him, I remember approaching Mr. Jordan a day or two after the term paper had been assigned asking him if I could please write about something else; for example, Greek Mythology (we’d been studying this in homeroom) or Girl Scouts (I was active in scouting) or cats (I had a cat) or, or, or; anything that I already knew something about and perhaps wouldn’t have to work so hard at.  I can’t remember his exact response, but I know that it was something along the lines of he suspected I was capable of it and that it was time for me to stop being lazy and start learning how to study.

Since of course Mr. Jordan was in actuality a very good teacher, he provided the guidelines to follow to go from knowing absolutely nothing about ducks to finding out about ducks to being able to communicate to others in a comprehensive manner everything I’d learned about ducks.  Along the way, I figured out how to use the library to look up reference material, to read while simultaneously noting what was important to retain, to write with the appropriate use of language and grammar, to abide by pre-determined rules and regulations with how the term paper was to be formatted, to appropriately manage my time in order to get the assignment accomplished by the due date and to seek out assistance when needed.

After all was said and done and each of us kids had read our papers aloud to the class (another mind-boggling hurdle of deathly terror Mr. Jordan felt compelled to provide), I walked away very much alive and very proud of my B because I knew I’d done the very best I could do.  It wasn’t A-worthy, but it certainly was an admirable start.

Years and years later while talking about the time we spent in Lexington Kentucky and agreeing that it did not top the charts of any of our favorite places to live (in fact, we only stayed 9 months before happily high-tailing it back to San Diego), my dad commented to me, “But it wasn’t all bad because it was there that you became a good student”. 

Why Mr. Jordan decided to assign me the topic of ducks almost forty years ago,  I’ll never know.  What I do know is I can never see a duck and not think about him.  And, I must thank him, wherever he is, for providing the guidance for me to learn self-discipline.

Mrs. B.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Mrs. B's Top Ten Thankfuls Four: My Friends



There's that saying that you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends; friends are the family you wish you had.  I can't say this is true for me as I'm pretty lucky in my family BUT I will say that I've been really, really blessed in the friendships I've had throughout my life.  And, as another saying goes, (paraphrasing here), people come into your life for a reason, a season, or forever.  So goes my friendships.

My forever friends.  Oh, my; whatever would I do without them?  There's only a small handful of them and each person is as different as could possibly be from the others.  Perhaps this reflects how they speak and relate to different aspects of my personality or life style.  Perhaps this is also why these friendships, although always there, have waxed and waned over the years depending on what happens to be going on in each of our lives.  In any case, I do know this.  We may disagree on things; maybe even some fairly important things.  We may have differing views on politics and religion, opposing opinions on societal issues and extremely varied personal interests; however what we do have in common is the bond of memory; all of the times we've shared over the years (good and bad); these tie us firmly together; and, I'm betting, it would take something unfathomable to ever sever these ties.  Regardless of what happens to be going on in each of our lives, if I were to sound the bell; to raise the alarm; to scream "HELP ME!" they would come in a heartbeat.  As I would for them.  The reason for this is quite simply that we have been around each other long enough to know that we are good people.  We've seen each other in trying times, in happy times; sometimes in situations that seemed impossible to ever weather.  I found this quote on friendship that aptly sums up how I feel about my forever friends:  "No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth". (Robert Southey).

My seasonal friends are ones who figured very prominently in my life for a period of time but who, for whatever reason, I no longer keep in touch with or, if I do, it's just on occasion (or on Facebook).  Like most people, this category is where the majority of my friendships fall.  Whether a long season (e.g., several years) or shorter, these friends are ones with whom I shared an intense and immediate connection usually relating to a specific place I lived, a school I went to, a place I visited or job I held; sometimes perhaps a relationship I (or someone I am close to) was in.  When I think back on these friendships, I recognize that each one helped me to grow in a particular aspect of my life; to develop in a much needed area.  Although I don't see much of them (if at all), I'm fairly certain that, if circumstances were such that we were to reconnect, there would be another great season of friendship; maybe like a warm Indian Summer.

My reason friends; ah; most of them I have no idea where they are now and likely I'll never see them again.  Truly, these were not friendships meant to last over the long haul but there was a purpose to them; in fact, a very specific purpose. The nature of these friendships; the reasons for them, are far too personal for me to scribe here, as I would imagine they would be for everyone.  Some might say these people were Angels sent to guide; others might quote, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears".

As I close on this topic, I think of another category of friends, and that is new friends.  Over the past year or so, I've made several new friends; some are neighbors, some are from church and others I've met recently in my travels.  When I look back years from now, where will these new friends be? 

Only time will tell but whatever happens, I'll be thankful for having known them.

Mrs. B

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Happy Veterans Day

To ALL of the veterans in my life.
Thank you.

Mr. Sr. B Circa 1949
Miss you, FIL :-(

Mrs. B

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Freedom of the Seas Review




We had a great time on Freedom despite the fact we barely avoided a major storm (Hurricane Sandy).  
Here is my review of our cruise; (more) pictures to follow soon!


Mrs. B

Friday, September 14, 2012

Top Ten Thankfuls: Three



I'm back, finally, with the third in this series.  I'm not sure where time goes, but, it goes somewhere; hiding in a very good spot as I cannot manage to find it these days.  

It seemed as though The B's were settling into a somewhat ho-hum late summer/early fall with not much to do other than the usual.  

Then, lo and behold, a minor mishap befell Mr. B about ten days ago; he slipped while attempting to climb up a muddy bank at a State Park in Indiana.  

How?  Well, we were in Indiana for a family reunion and, one day, took off on an excursion with my cousin, his wife and their kids plus my uncle and aunt.  We went tubing!  Yes, it was a lot of fun, until someone got hurt and ended up in a cone.  Whoops.  Sorry, it wasn't our dog Lucy this time,it was Mr. B.  Right.  A SLING.  He ended up in a sling.  

Bottom line; he broke his upper right arm.  The specialist thinks his rotator cuff is ok, but, we won't know until they can do an MRI, which won't be for some weeks yet.  In the meantime, he has to keep his arm totally isolated and will be in the sling for at least a month, if not six weeks, in order for the break to mend. Oh, did I mention that he's RIGHT-handed?  Sigh.  Thankfully, though, it's not Tax Busy Season and, other than a few minor things, we've been able to manage fine with me doing just about everything that he can't do right now.  And, as time passes, he's able to help a bit (even running our stik-vac in the am for me is a HUGE help, I'm finding).

Anyway, as I've gone through these days, I have found myself thinking over and over about the subject of this post's thankful:

I Am Thankful For My Health
Although I'm fast approaching 50, I am in good health, pretty decent shape, at a more than acceptable weight, and, as I'm finding, I am strong.  Of course, some of this is due to my habits, habits I developed beginning in my mid twenties and continuing on to the present.  I eat fairly well, I stopped smoking eight years ago (and even when I was still smoking, I'd call it "occasional" or "social").  I do imbibe in alcohol but do my best to keep an eye on how much I consume and consider it pretty much my only vice (if you don't consider bubble gum a vice).  I am very disciplined about exercising and don't look too bad for my age if I do say so.  Of course, I realize I have to keep at it/step it up, which I routinely do; but this, also, must be balanced with a dose of "what the heck" from time to time.  

All of this I can control, however.  What I am REALLY thankful for are my genes as I seem to have been blessed with overall good health, as in, lifetime (to date).  I am rarely sick, and when I am, it's typically some sort of allergy thing.  In fact, my allergies, which I only developed after moving to NC in 2004, are about the only thing really "wrong" with me, if you don't count extreme myopia and having had several root canals/crowns. And, I guess I don't count these things since they are both easily corrected and, in the case of my teeth, were totally preventable in the first place (my teeth aren't bad, I just had a lazy period that lasted seven years where, for reasons unknown even to me, I stopped going to the dentist).  Anyway, my teeth are not fundamentally damaged.  My eyes, well, I'd love to have vision correction surgery but I'm told my retinas are too thin.  So, I wear contact lenses.  No biggie.

Anything that ever goes wrong with me never lasts long.  I've never been laid up for days and days; certainly never weeks and weeks.  I don't have any ongoing chronic issues.  I have no food allergies, I don't get migraines, heck, I hardly even get a headache (now that my heavy duty drinking days are behind me).  

Even more fundamental.  I am not blind or deaf, nor am I mute.  I have use of all of my limbs and extremities.  I don't have heart problems, back trouble, an easily upset stomach, or issues with my kidneys or bowels.  I don't have shortness of breath.  I can tolerate heat and cold if need be.  My skin's in pretty good shape, as is my hair.  Oh, and maybe the most important thing, I'm fairly confident my mind's ok!  Yeah, maybe I forget stuff from time to time; then again, maybe I forget it on purpose.

As I age, I realize more and more how lucky I am.  Yes, I know; I cannot say with any certainty that I WON'T have some issue later on down the line, but, I think I have a pretty firm foundation so hopefully there won't be too much crumbling.

The minor things that trouble me; the aforementioned eyesight, occasional expensive trip to the dentist, seasonal allergies; plus leg cramps from time to time, the usual creakiness and aches in joints every once in awhile and symptoms resulting from menopause, are PEANUTS compared to what I've seen others go through.

I'm thankful, thankful, thankful.  Yes, I am.

Mrs. B