A Distinct Pleasure

Just now, I had the VERY distinct pleasure of, quite possibly, annoying a telemarketer more than they annoyed me.

Some history.

A few weeks ago, my friend Kathy sent me an email full of "ideas" of how to really piss off the people that piss us off; telemarketers. Additionally, there were suggestions on how to "get back at" the folks that send us unwanted junk snail mail.

I loved many of these ideas/suggestions and have been waiting for the opportunity to implement my very favorite on a telemarketer.

But, as these things go, strangely, I stopped receiving phone calls as I think the lines have been tied up by the increasingly annoying pre-recorded political phone calls I've been receiving, such as, "Hi, this is Billy Bob so-and-so. If you are like me..." Hang up. Nope, I'm NOT like you, Billy Bob.

Anyway, finally, this morning, Bonanza!

The phone rings. I answer it, hopeful.

A no-nonsense woman says, "This is Madeline from Publishers. Who am I speaking to?"

As an aside, this always annoys me. First of all, she called ME. She should KNOW who she is speaking to. Also, it's a bit too demanding.

But, here it comes.

I said very sweetly, "Hold on a minute, please" and put the phone down on the counter.

And walked away.

And sat back down at the kitchen table and continued to balance my checkbook.

After one minute and eleven seconds, she hung up.

But, oh boy, I bet she was ANNOYED during that one minute and eleven seconds.

And, I doubt that I'll ever hear from Madeline again.

So, my loyal readers, I encourage all of you to do the same the next time one of these pesky people call you. Don't just hang up on them. Make them sit there waiting for you to come back to the phone (of course you never will).

As for all of those credit card offers and such you receive in the mail? Take anything out that has your name/address on it. Use the (usually self-addressed postage paid envelop) to send them a bunch of your other crappy junk mail (name and address blacked out of course). Send them your Papa John coupons (assuming you don't want to use them), all of the political campaign crap you've been getting, the come-ons from various stores, etc.

Make them pay to dispose of your junk!

If you are like me and you implement these two ideas, you'll actually start to gleefully look forward to those previously annoying phone calls and avidly search your snail mail for junk and credit card offers.

UNITE!

Mrs. B