He'll Meet You Wherever You Are: Part One

Two years ago today, my husband and I walked into a church for the first time for both of us (save for weddings, baptisms, and funerals) in over thirty years.  It’s something that still amazes us now; that we did this, especially in light of the fact that, up to this point of time when we made the decision to go, we’d never talked about God, or Jesus, or religion for any length of time at all.  Yes, we met via an online Christian dating company (eHarmony), and, yes, there were some spiritual questions that we answered as part of that process, but, it wasn’t something we spent time discussing during our first meeting, or subsequently.  We figured we were pretty darn lucky that we’d been matched up and that was about it. 

When we moved to Florida many years later, we were in the process of making some changes; many major, others slight.  I am coming to understand, in hindsight, that it is the small changes that have the potential to add up to something big.  What were some of the smaller changes?  We’d decided to be open to meeting new people, especially our neighbors.  Neither one of us are the most extroverted of souls, so, this really was a challenge, even if it seemed easy enough to do.  This meant saying "Hi" to people, talking to people, not doing the avert eyes thing when someone came towards us out on the street, all of that.  We also decided to get involved, somehow.  

Not too long after we moved in, our neighbor across the street approached us when we were out walking our dog (and since we’d decided to try and talk to people, we didn’t attempt to avoid her) and, after a few minutes of chit chat, asked us in a very friendly way if we’d found a church yet (she knew that we’d moved from another state).  I’m sure we gave her that sort of glassy eyed look of those who really don’t want to be standing on the street discussing something that we’d never even discussed amongst ourselves.  Truthfully, I can’t remember what we told her other than it might have been something like “No, we haven’t”.  End of statement.  She went on  to invite us to go to church with her and her husband one Sunday; something I’m sure, again, we politely made noises like “Maybe” and “Thanks” but with zero intention of ever doing so. All in all this was not a major encounter, and, she did not pester us about it, however, in hindsight, it was a small seed that had been planted; her invitation made us think about it.  Church.  Church.  Maybe this would be one way to get involved in the community and, what?  Garner clients for our new and fledgling business?  Perhaps. 

In any event, a few weeks later, a local toss away paper called The Observer (which is delivered to our driveway every Thursday whether we want it or not) ran an advertisement of sorts about a message series one of the local churches was doing.  I remember thumbing through this publication one night  and seeing the church's ad, “When Christians Get It Wrong”.  I quickly went past it, continued to glance at the rest of the paper, then, turned back to it.  I read the rest of the ad and realized that the series was centering on all the things that give Christians a bad reputation; you know  liked being judgmental, unforgiving, pious, holier than thou, disapproving of divorce, abortion, homosexuals, other religions, you name it.  In all honesty, probably the primary reasons why I’d stayed out of church for the past thirty years.   

Prior, I’d voluntarily attended a Lutheran church and been baptized and confirmed in it when I was a teenager, and yet,  I’d walked away for no real reason.  Probably, it just didn’t stick because I was a young girl who had other things on my mind than being a good Christian young lady.  Meaning no disrespect to my parents, I had very little support or encouragement from them to either remain involved with the church or  to have a relationship with God.  So, leaving didn’t seem like a big deal, and it wasn’t .

Unfortunately, there were plenty of people around me in the ensuing years who discouraged me from entering into a relationship with Him; either those who were influential in my life who refused to believe that He existed  OR (and actually probably worse) those who did believe, but were so strident about it that it totally turned me off.  Looking back, I see now that I wanted to believe, but I just couldn’t bring myself to be in a relationship with a God I thought  was hateful, prejudiced, biased, didn’t forgive, and probably didn’t want a relationship with me, anyway, because I’d really screwed up a few things in my life.     

Finally it simply became my habit not to think overly much about God; however, I never didn’t believe in Him, if that makes any sense.  

To Be Continued!

Mrs. B

The Mystical Game of Self-Improvement Week Four: Page of Cups

Ok, this is starting to get COMPLICATED! Why oh why am I not drawing low hanging fruit cards? Believe me, I have several tasks on tap just waiting for an, oh, 2-8. And, please, another Cup? Cheese. Yet, once again, I must take a step back and contemplate that there is likely a reason why I'm drawing Pentacles, Cups and (mostly) high cards.

So, recall, Pages are messengers. What are these little dudes trying to tell me? What news are they bringing? Or, what message? As in, "Change THIS, you moron!"

The specific divination for the Page of Cups is:

(Upright): "This card signifies a meditative, loyal, spiritual and sensitive person who will be helpful. A reflective situation. News or knowledge of art or culture is brought".

(Reverse): "Insensitivity to others. A flatterer and deceiver. Selfishness".

And Cups, once again, signify relationships in the game of 52.

Because I'm running the risk of biting off too much to chew, I've decided I'm going to tie the Page of Cups in with the Queen of Cups's challenge (the Queen of Cups's challenge is, in short "when in doubt, be nice, and, if you can't, walk away and let someone else deal with it") by taking it a step further.

Rather than taking the time to stew over something/dwell on it/be negative/thinking of ways to "get back" or "get even", take that energy and devote it to something spiritual, artistic, or cultural.

Maybe this is stretching it, I don't know. However, I got to thinking about how much time I spent writing that review on our Realtor; probably over two hours, not to mention the time spent attempting to figure out how to get it posted in multiple places. I ended up feeling frustrated, irritated, angry and was in a totally negative frame of mind. All for what end? It won't really change anything. We made a mistake by selecting them. They are jerks. If anyone asks us, we'll advise them not to use them. If it turns out they swindled us out of some money (this is a pending question), we'll report them to the BBB. The bottom line is, the house sold and we no longer have to worry about it. Do we have them to thank for selling it? No. But, we're thankful it's not sitting on the market still and having to continually deal with them. Does this mean I'm not going to get annoyed each time we get a request from them asking us for information (for the new owners) that we already provided? No, I'll get annoyed. But, I just don't want to get so hung up on every mistake people make; even when said people sure appear to make a hell of a lot of them.

Ok, this is a long way of saying the following. When something happens that I decide to shrug off, I'll take the time I would have spent bitching about it and put the effort into something spiritual, artistic or cultural.

On to a recap of my other chores:

Five of Pentacles

Doing great. Probably should talk with Mr. B soon about recreating the business side so I can take over. It's way too difficult trying to figure out why he did what he did. On the other hand, taking the time to do so would be decent preparation for eventually working through the muddle some potential client comes to us with.

Queen of Cups

I'm a-trying. Man, is this tough. I think adding in the Page of Cups's challenge will assist in this regard. On the pro side, I've not been nasty to anyone lately. I was a bit sarcastic with Regan & Co. yesterday morning, however. Sigh.

Page of Pentacles

I've not yet researched the patent thing. I did spend a goodly amount of time with Mr. B discussing the pros and cons of a potential business arrangement. In doing so, I thought of a lot more marketing ideas. Now, I just need to get my butt in gear and start planning.

BTW, I can't help but think these Pages in my Tarot deck look like vapid little zombies. I think I prefer the Hello Kitty version!

Mrs. B

Been Sorta Quiet...But That's About To Change!

All in all, we had a low-key week this past week. About the only new thing I did was attend an opera guild meeting Tuesday morning at the invitation of my neighbor, Alma. Both Alma and her husband Stan are heavily involved with the Sarasota Opera, which, considering I truly enjoy opera, seemed like fate. Anyway, the meeting was interesting; well-run and many, many members. Although not all were at the meeting, there are over 500 guild involved. Well, they just got two more as I signed us up. I have to admit, it's unlikely we're going to go to many of their fund-raisers right now; a bit steep cost-wise. I just checked out the cost for the opening night gala next February. $250 PER. OUCH. And that doesn't include the price of the opera ticket either. But, I figure what with going to the operas and some of the cheaper events (like a lecture on Madama Butterfly tomorrow, it's only $10 per person and there will be wine :-) ), Mr. B can rub shoulders with the area's muckity mucks. Part of my master plan.

We ARE making an evening of it this coming Friday; I bought very good seats for the opening night of Madama Butterfly; partly because I love this opera, but also so that Mr. B will be able to truly appreciate it (his first opera! We'll try out one of countless downtown Sarasota restaurants prior and then meet Stan and Alma at the opera at 7:30. Since they are muckity mucks, they are able to get into the special lounge for muckity mucks and invited us to join them (you must be invited). Again, not a bad opportunity for Mr. B to get his name out there.

Speaking of getting one's name out there, it turns out it's pretty important to have calling cards around here (different from business cards as a lot of the people here are retired and no longer work). Yes, sort of a throw-back to a long forgotten time, but, quaint. I found a deal on Vista Print; 250 cards FREE; only had to pay shipping and handling. I really wish I'd had them Tuesday at the guild meeting as I was asked several time for my card! Well, we have them now.

As for the first part of the week, we plan on going to the lecture Monday. Tuesday is a meet and greet with the Pastors of a church we started attending (yes, yes, yes; this will be the subject of another Blog entry at some point for those of you who just fell off your chairs!) They are a husband and wife team and it's a dessert/coffee gathering for new members (or those still considering such as us) at their home (they live in our community). Thursday night is 648 (a one hour church service; very informal) and Friday is Madama Butterfly! There is a beer festival in Lakewood Ranch on Saturday but I'm not sure we'll be up for that after (likely) a quite late evening Friday.

Today is another totally gorgeous day here in Florida. Mr. B's doing some stuff out in the garage but we're hoping to get out this afternoon; maybe a walk on the beach followed by an afternoon cocktail or beer somewhere by the water.

Don't feel too sorry for us :-)

Mrs. B

The Mystical Game of Self-Improvement Week Three: Page of Pentacles

Here we go with the money thing again! And, another high-ish card (the Page is somewhere between the 10 and the Jack).

Unlike the prior two weeks, I'm not going to spend much time analyzing this card or writing what its divination in the Tarot is, save a few words.

But first, the update!

Five of Pentacles

Hey, I'm doing great with this one! I've put all of our personal financial information into Quickbooks. This has been a fantastic way to learn how it all flows. I have had to bug Mr. B several times, but, I believe he's learned a few things along the way as well. I'll continue to work with it and will shortly start entering business transactions as well. Eventually, I'll create a new set of books for our business and I'll take over. That's not for a while yet, however.

Queen of Cups

This was a mighty card to draw; as in, a mighty challenge, a mighty struggle, a mighty lady. Frankly, I was a bit overwhelmed with where, exactly, to head with this card since it can entail so much. Finally, since Cups relate to relationships and feelings and such, I've decided to narrow this task down to a few areas, all to do with how I PERCEIVE and BEHAVE in situations involving people/relationships:

-Take 10. Count to ten and breath before I react to anything which I perceive as an adversarial situation.

-I will be firm, not mean.

-I won't be belligerent; I'll try my Father's tack; "I'm just an old country gal trying to get along". Ok, I guess I can't use "country gal", necessarily, but, I'll figure something out.

-I will be polite, not rude.

-I will take the high ground.

-I will be thoughtful, not hasty.

-And, when all else fails, I'll pass it off to someone else to deal with if I don't think I can maintain my composure.

This is quite a tall order, I realize. I guess, too, that I probably could have assigned some of these to other cards in the game, but, the Queen of Cups IS a biggie!

How am I doing? Ok. This will take the whole year to master. However, I'm happy to report that just yesterday I "passed something off" to Mr. B because I was starting to get quite annoyed with a particular company which will remain unnamed. I asked Mr. B to take a stab at writing a reply to their customer service folks; he did, I edited it, and we in turn received something a bit more positive back from them. Not that we're done with them, I'm afraid, but, it was at least a step in the right direction in many ways.

I will add that all of this doesn't mean I'm turning into a Patsy. If someone or some organization deserves to be blasted (so to speak), they will be; but, I'll try my best to do it in an entirely professional manner. Case in point; you'll likely see a review of our experience with our real estate agency shortly here on this Blog!

Ok, on to this week's card.

Here are a few words which jumped out at me from its description/divination:

Regarding Pages, they represent messages or messengers. Their duty is to announce or be an effective instrument of information. Recall that Pentacles typically deal with money. "A situation requires knowledge or research. New ideas and opinions manifest".

When I read this, I knew EXACTLY what it meant for me!

Two things, really:

Take on a major role in marketing Mr. B/the business. I DO have ideas, tons of them. Some things have already been put into play, but, there's much to be done yet.

Patent Mr. B's invention. I don't want to say more about this HERE. But, I'm definitely going to research how to get this done.

So, with these challenges ahead of me, plus the 1st two, I'm a-gonna be a busy gal.

Mrs. B

PS I had to post this other card; when I did a search on my Tarot deck's Page of Pentacles, this one popped up, too. I was a bit surprised that there is, apparently, a "Hello, Kitty" Tarot deck floating around out there. Not exactly what you'd expect youngsters to be playing with, but, hey, all mystics have to get their start someone, I suppose!

The Mystical Game of Self-Improvement Week Two: Queen of Cups

Ought oh. I mean, seriously, OUGHT OH! Not only did I draw a fairly high card (the higher the card the more challenging the task), it had to be one dealing with relationships and a bunch of touchy-feely, supernatural, psychic-jazzy babble.

But first, an update on my progress with last week's task, the Five of Pentacles.

I did spend several hours exploring Quick Books and began taking their on-line tutorials. I came up with a list of questions for Mr. B and we went over them a few days later (he may come to regret this because I am nit-picky about keeping records). I figured out how to reconcile our business banking statement by merely clicking a few buttons. I have scheduled more time this week to continue my studies.

Back to today's Queen of Cups. Seriously, you'll understand why I'm stumped after reading these descriptions/divinations (by the way if you're having difficulty reading the print, click on Ctrl and + at the same time, this will enlarge the font):

So, yeah. Exactly. Huh? This is my stumble-bumble through it:

Ok, well, I suppose I HAD been thinking that I want/need/should/could/might better (a hold out from NC) work at being a nicer person, both in how I deal with people and in how I handle difficult situations. So, that's "relationships", right? I know, it's a stretch, but that's about all I can come up with and if I succeed even somewhat, that will be a good thing.

And, my friend and I agreed from the outset that if we managed to make even just a few of these 52 things (or 78 in my case) stick, this would be an improvement in our lives.

So, maybe it's not so strange that I drew the Queen of Cups. And, I always have preferred to get difficult tasks out of the way early; plus, I have a lot more lead time on this one, I have fifty-one more weeks to get it right.

Mrs. B

The Mystical Game of Self-Improvement Week One: Five of Pentacles

Today begins the first week of the game my friend calls "52"; which for me will likely turn into "78" as I'm adding in twenty-six additional Tarot cards.

This morning I collected my Tarot box (sadly quite dusty), sorted out the Major Aracana cards as I'm not ready to tackle anything that majorly important, and, after quiet consideration of how the deck felt in my hands, drew my first card.

Given how concerned I've been about money these past months, I'm not really surprised that I picked a Pentacle, as Pentacles (diamonds) is the suit that corresponds with livelihood, career, financial matters and the like.

My Tarot deck of choice is the Scared Rose. Here, then, are a few definitions and possible divinations of this particular card:

Hmmm...not too positive sounding, is it? Well, one of the great things about the Tarot is it's open to interpretation!

And the resulting action will be...

Time is already on the "books" (ha ha). Seriously, if this works out ok, I could become a Certified Quick Books Pro Adviser; if it makes sense to, that is. Mr. B's already in the process of receiving his certification; not sure if both of us need this designation.

And, we're off!

Mrs. B

Hunk Oh Hunk Of Burning Stress

"They" say moving is one of the most stressful things a person can do in life; it keeps company on the list with getting married, divorced, starting a new job, being laid off or fired from your job, buying and selling a house, having a child/being a parent and having someone you are close to die. I've had experiences now with all but one of these and some more than others.

Probably the all time humdinger was in June of 2000 when FIVE occurred at once: I got divorced, we sold our house (while we were basically estranged), I moved from Colorado back to California (I had to leave my cats in Colorado for about three weeks; thankfully, I had a wonderful friend who went over to the house and checked on them every day), I started a new job where I had a lot to prove (or at least I thought so then) and I bought a house (and had to live almost three months in a Residence Inn until that process was complete; juggling what to do with Nigel and Clyde when I had to go out of town on business trips (please, maids, DON'T go into the room and let them out!))

When all was said and done, the entire change was crammed into roughly three months. Oh, and in the middle of all of this, my dad had a heart attack and my youngest brother also went through a nasty break-up and divorce (as an aside, our divorces were final within one week of each other; mine 7/24 and his 7/31, something I'll never forget).

Frankly, I'm surprised I didn't go totally bonkers because I was doing much of this by myself (although I did have incredible support from family and friends and certainly managed to have some fun along the way (thanks, Nathaniel)).

Anyway, it's eleven years later and the circumstances behind the move, although not 100% happy-happy joy-joy, are positive.

Still. Still. Moving IS stressful. And time consuming. And complicated. There are so many balls in the air at once and you really cannot drop any of them. Not only that, I feel as though I have to watch everyone else involved to ensure they don't drop any balls, either. I have a huge Excel workbook with multiple sheets in it, each one with a ca-zillion "to dos". Mr. B and I have assigned who is doing what and so far that is mostly working, with the only real problem being every time I strike one off, I seem to add five more. Mr. B tells me every day, "We're getting stuff done!", and, he's right, we are. In fact, frankly, I think we may be overly efficient as at times we're sitting around waiting for other people to do what they are supposed to and it seems mighty slow. I have to work hard on curbing my ex HRD persona and riding herd on those who don't return phone calls or emails as quickly as I feel they should OR who don't behave the way I believe they should. Mr. B sighs and probably wishes he could keep me half-snookered all of the time so that I'd chill out.

In my defense, it's extremely difficult to chill out when it's 100 plus degrees with high humidity such that it feels as though it's 115. And, this is likely one reason why things don't move along as quickly as I'd wish; it's hard to move quickly, period.

So, some of those most stressful/sad (for me) things about moving et al this go-around (including the fore mentioned aspect of people not having the same sense of urgency that I do) are:

Identifying and selling roughly 1/3 of our furniture. Or, hoping to sell it; whatever doesn't sell gets donated and written off. Although we opted for a smaller house, it's still somewhat sad to have to part with some of the things we've both had for many, many years.

Preparing for a moving sale. Wow, what a hassle! At times, I've found myself wondering if this is really going to be worth the effort.

Getting the current house ready to go onto the market/selling it. I've bitched enough about this so I won't go any further.

Having to leave the current house empty while we bop off to FL. I know I can't wait to get to FL, but, I feel "bad" for this house sitting here all by itself.

Worrying about the pets, well, really the cats, as we travel to FL. They've never had to deal with being in the car longer than 1/2 hour, let alone staying in a hotel room for several days.

Fretting about ALL the pets and how they'll adjust to their new home.

Money. Moving is not cheap. Everything requires money! You know it going in, but, after several weeks of writing checks for this or that, it wears on the soul.

Ok, enough negative crap. Across the miles, I can hear my Father saying to me as he reads this, "No crisis before its time, Christina!" And, my former Executive Coach just commented on one of my pissy Facebook status updates and reminded me that I am the Captain of My Soul and not to let things ruin my day.

I think I just needed to rant a bit, and, frankly, remembering that move back in 2000 really did help me appreciate how much improved the move circumstances are now compared to then.

Mrs. B

Life

Life is not a race to get everything done...
It should be spent loving and growing...
Serving and learning...
With a healthy measure of having fun! -- AHB

Our foster babies; "The Greek Gang" (Zeus, Hera, Apollo, Athena and Ares) arrive Thursday!

Mrs. B

Back in the Saddle Again

Well, at least partially!

After five years of not working (for pay), yesterday, I ventured back into the corporate world. An environment that I gladly walked away from, even though I was at the pinnacle of my success.

Y'all know why, y'all have listened to my reasons (or read them) regarding that particular decision.

You also know that, in the last month or so, I was approached my someone I used to work with and asked to do some consulting with a large well-known company about an hour and twenty minutes from my house.

What with the family reunion going on (and a few other things), it took us until late last week to reach agreement on a) what they'd pay me and b) how much (and where) I'd work.

In the meantime, Mr. B set up our very own LLC, complete with insurances. I opened up a small business bank account, we're looking into some office equipment/capabilities, and, soon, we'll do fun stuff like order business cards and business letterhead.

But, the rubber really hit the road yesterday when I got in my car and drove down to the company. Believe me, the night before (after a minor hitch with the guy I'm working with, which was resolved), my heart was a bit heavy with apprehension. By yesterday morning, my heart was pounding so hard I thought I might have a heart attack. Of course, it was only anxiety; but, I asked myself anyway if I was a complete nut or fool for contemplating this major change in my (our) life.

And, that is what it really came down to; I wasn't afraid of the work, just the change. But, we all know that our fear of what might happen is usually far, far worse than what actually does happen. Of course, that's what the case was yesterday.

The day went very well! I managed to get down there (even early); everyone was very nice and friendly and welcoming. As Mr. B surmised, once I "got into it", the old professionalism and work ethic kicked right in and it hardly felt like it had been five years since I'd worked. Of course, this IS different than working for a company; I am working for myself (and Mr. B). I could have, if I'd wanted, told them yesterday "forget it, not interested" after the end of the day. But, I AM interested; it's a cool place, neat product, lots of projects to work on that are right up my alley. And, the money ain't bad, either.

So, yep; I got home, and, upon reflection, figured out (as I already alluded to) that, I was afraid of changing my life. Hell, why wouldn't I be? It's been a great life these past five years! Yet, it WAS time to make a change. To take a chance. To turn the page and see what's next.

So, here are a few more of my favorite sayings/adages (whatever) to express how I'm feeling today.

"Life is a form of not being sure, not knowing what's next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little." (Agnes DeMille)

“First you jump off the cliff and you build your wings on the way down.” (Ray Bradbury)

“Leap, and the net will appear.” (Julia Cameron)

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” (Anais Nin)

“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” (Dale Carnegie)

I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are." (Milton Berle)

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yogi Berra (Thanks, George!)

Mrs. B

Been Busy; Blogging Has Gone Bust!

Oh, I always have stuff to write about; I constantly think of topics for my Blog and I keep an on-going list so, if for whatever reason I cannot think of a topic, I can refer to it.

Alas, I've been a bit busier than usual since we returned from vacation. I'm surprised I was able to blog about our trip as soon as I did.

What's going on in our household/in my life? Well, it's primarily the final push for our big family reunion that will be held in Durham July 31st-August 4th (with the "official" reunion being held at the B's house on the 2nd). Along with my cousin's wife, Cindy, and a lot of help from Analee and Leann, we've been at this since February! Yeah, February, and it's finally coming to fruition. To say that we are excited is an understatement!

But, along with the excitement comes the need to prepare, prepare, prepare. This means, clean, clean, clean; get all of those little nagging chores done that have remained undone (mostly stuff for Mr. B to do), etc.

But, he finished the frame for the swing yesterday! And, we finally found a wrought iron pub height table to go with the chairs I've had for years and years!

Mr. B and his completed project!

Mr. B and Lucy (she's not so sure about this swing; she kept trying to attack our feet while we were in motion!)
New pub table

And, I must start thinking about getting everything cooked/prepared ready to consume on the 2nd! We hit BJs on Saturday to get the majority of "the goods"; still more to buy, though.

In addition to this, I was asked to join the Board of Directors for the local symphony. I agreed, and I'm now their secretary. I had my first Board meeting Thursday night; it was extremely interesting but a lot is going on and I have a lot to learn! This involvement will take up more of my time than perhaps I originally banked on, but, from what everyone has told me, it'll be an enriching experience.

And, there's more, but, I'll hold on blogging about that until later this week.

So, you may not see me out in Blog land as frequently as I used to be.

Such is life; turn, turn turn.

Mrs. B