The Weekly Newspaper Toss and Ditch

Well, it's Tuesday, which means this is the day Mrs. B and Lucy, while out on our walks around our neighborhood, start "Ye Olde Weekly Newspaper Toss and Ditch".

Every Saturday, one of our local papers delivers to EVERY house in the development (and probably the city) a supplement called "The Durham News". If one subscribes to the paper, they get this supplement twice; in their Saturday paper and also as an aside.

Frankly, this irritates me and always has for a lot of reasons, but, mostly it is because it is a waste of paper to deliver something weekly that the majority of the people that are receiving it didn't ask for it and ignore it. Also, for those of us that go off on vacations from time to time, calling up and stopping your regular subscription does NOT keep this particular supplement from being tossed on your driveway (or somewhere nearby), which sort of defeats the primary purpose for suspending ones subscription (so as not to alert people that you are not home).

Of course, I guess in our neighborhood, one definitely could NOT make that assumption because NO ONE picks up this damn thing!

Hence, "Ye Olde Weekly Newspaper Toss and Ditch".

On Saturdays, as we walk, I think to myself, "Oh boy, look at all of those newspapers (meaning, the supplements). But, it's too early to start picking them up because some people actually do pick theirs up. Maybe they even read it. But, most folks just leave them lying there in their driveway, on the sidewalk in front of the driveway, on the street in front of the sidewalk in front of their driveway, in their grass, near their mailbox; wherever the newspaper morons happen to have thrown it (WHY can't they at least get them up into people's driveways? I mean, c'mon, the STREET?)

By Sunday, a goodly portion of the newspapers are gone but just as many are still lying there, despite the fact that the owners of the houses are out and about, mowing their lawns, backing out of their driveways to go to church or out for breakfast or to the park or wherever they are going. They go, the newspapers stay. Still, I don't start picking them up yet, mostly because there are a lot of people out and about and I'm not really interested in getting yelled at.

Monday is my favorite day, by which I really mean, it's my "I totally can't believe this" day. Why? Well, it's the day that the recycling comes and most people have their blue recycling bins out. Of the houses that still have their paper lying around Monday morning, you'd be surprised how many of them actually LEAVE it lying there, despite the fact that someone in that house has hauled their recycling bin down to the curb. Hell, sometimes that paper is lying right NEXT to the bin and they still couldn't be bothered to pick the damn thing up and toss it into the bin.

Sometimes on our Monday afternoon walk and if I'm out before the recycling guys come, I'll walk around picking up the stray papers (in the case of this week also extremely wet and soggy papers) and throw them into recycling bins.

So, by Tuesday morning, I'm ready to start the toss.

If a paper is within easy reach of our path, I'll pick it up and toss it onto the driveway that I think it belongs to.

This morning, I did this roughly five times. There were a few others that I wanted to pick up, but, there were people (from other houses) in their driveways so I walked on; I'll likely get them this afternoon.

By Wednesday or Thursday, there won't be too many left lying out in the streets (but you'd be amazed how many of the ones I tossed up into driveways are STILL there; some of these houses have a nice collection going).

Last Friday, I walked by a house that I've been playing a nice game of "toss" with that entire week. I tossed the paper onto their driveway Tuesday morning, by Wednesday morning, it was back out on the street. So, I tossed it back up onto their driveway, by Thursday morning it was back out on the street (and, by the way, I know it was the same paper because it was basically disintegrating, it was so old and wet). So, Friday afternoon, there it was again out on the street. This time, I picked it up and tossed it up to their front porch, where it hit the front door with a loud thunk.

I stood there, a 44 year old woman with a dog, wondering if I should run! This sort of reminded me of the "doorbell ditching" game we'd play as kids, run up to a door, knock on it or ring the bell, and then run like hell away and hide.

Well, I didn't run; instead I said quite loudly, "Dispose of your (you-know-what) paper! Nobody opened the door, BTW.

Today, I noticed that that paper was STILL on their porch.

So, it's amazing to me, it really, really is.

First, why does the paper insist on delivering this supplement to people that obviously do not want it and also, why can't they improve their throwing techniques?

2nd, OK, so, you didn't order this paper, but, heck, you've got it! Why aren't more people picking it up and reading it (then disposing of it properly)? Doesn't anyone around here CARE about what's going on in this city?

And, finally, PICK IT UP! I don't get how people can just walk by and ignore something lying there on their property, especially once it gets old and ratty and soggy and starts to embed itself into their driveways.

What IS it with people?

Well, I am happy to report that, since we've started "Ye Olde Weekly Newspaper

Toss and Ditch", more people ARE picking their papers up on their own.

So, maybe we're getting a point across to some of them.

Mrs. B