I've lately been re-reading the Laura Ingalls Wilder series; you know, the "Little House" books. Also, I've been reading a great little book about "The Wizard of Oz" books.
What both of these have brought to my mind is this. It seems to me, that, "back in the day"; folks were kinder and wiser when it came to dealing with other people, difficult life situations, etc.
In addition to having a WICKED imagination (and I mean this in the current meaning of the word; meaning, absolutely fantastic), L. Frank Baum (of "The Wizard of Oz" books) had some real basic tenants that he was teaching children, which were, "Be kind, be good, behave".
And, I just read something in one of the Wilder books which REALLY made me realize we're all just put to shame in our day and age when it comes to being kind and wise (yours truly included, I admit shamefaced). Why is this? Is it because these folks were so busy trying to eek out livings and survive that they just didn't have time (or patience) for meanness? Did they simply believe it was more important (than we do now) to teach their children to be kind and wise?
I'm not really sure what it is. I would imagine that there are a lot of reasons, mostly not good ones, for how a lot of us are when we disagree with another person or just don't like something about them.
Anyway, Laura, the heroine (and writer) of the books, was recounting an incident where she "had it out" with her age-old nemesis, Nellie Olson. She, Laura, let her tongue get away with her and said something (pretty tame by our standards, BTW) that later caused a bunch of problems.
After she got a stern (but kind and wise!) lecture from her parents about how it is best to keep one's council and guard one's tongue, her mother, Caroline, wrote these word in her autograph album. The date was November 15th 1881. Some one hundred and 25-ish years later, we'd all be wise to heed them.
If wisdom's ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where
Mrs. B
2 comments:
the best "wisdom" my mom and dad taught me was sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. i'm sure they'd never believe that i learned that, but i did.
also, "kill them with kindness" is something i try to do sometimes with people i don't like and maybe who don't like me, and also "don't make a mountain out of a molehill," although i'm sure my husband may disagree that i practice the latter.
Another thing "Ma" Ingalls used to say was "Least said, soonest mended". I think that little adage makes a world of sense!
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think this all means that folks should be silent all of the time and not discuss problems or bring up tough issues if need be.
I suppose I was blogging about, in general, not being gossipy or saying mean, spiteful things that don't serve any purpose at all; especially as one might never say it to the target's face.
So, that's another thing, don't say something about a person that you wouldn't say directly to their face.
That's a tough one, though, isn't it?
Probably the best advice I have is to just avoid people you don't care for, be polite to them if you meet up to them or have to deal with them, and let it go and focus on things/people that you do care for.
It's hard enough to change oneself, forget trying to change some obstinate you-know-what that doesn't even like YOU!
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