Roaming Through the Wilderness of Sin – Day 21

We’re a little less than half-way through the Lenten Period and I’d love to report that I’ve been doing swimmingly with my fast from complaining but…it’s truly astonishing how easy it is to slip into grouse mode!  Even when I am consciously trying my best not to complain, I’ll suddenly realize I am in mid-complaint! Usually, though, it’s not something I figure out I’ve done until I reflect on the events of the day; frustration I felt, conversations I had.

Even if I haven’t literally voiced a complaint, they still find their sneaky slithery way into my thoughts, sort of like that infamous snake I’ve heard tell of who hung out in a garden with some naked folks.  If I notice they’re there, I have a choice to either try my best to banish them or to give up and let them have their way.  If I don’t notice their presence, the risk is high that they may fester, which almost guarantees they’ll gush forth at some (most likely inopportune) time.  Obviously the best course is never to allow them entrance in the first place but that, I am finding, is easier said than done.

As it would happen, two of my scripture readings this morning dealt with complaining. In Exodus 17:1-7, I read about those ungrateful, whining Israelites having a hissy fit in the Wilderness of Sin (yes, the actual name of the Wilderness) because they’re thirsty and there is no water and what the heck is Moses trying to do to them, kill them?  Where is this God, anyway?  This after “this God”, with the help of Moses (whom they are ready to turn on and stone to death), just delivered them from 400 years of oppression and slavery, and, yet; they are already complaining and ready to give up and go back to being slaves.

“Oh those wacky Israelites!” those of us who know how the story turned out might be thinking smugly to ourselves, “All they had to do was put their trust in God; obey him and love him, and everything would eventually be ok!” 

Yeah, well.  Thousands of years later, nothing much has changed.

Not one thing God has done for us has passed before we begin to complain that He’s letting us suffer in our own Wilderness of Sin.  I know I do.  The Lord saves my beloved Pete…I start grousing about the cost of the new food he needs to be on.  The Lord has provided clients for our business…I am pissed off about the income tax we now owe.  My dear neighbor across the street is wasting away from cancer; I am healthy…I grouse about “being fat”.  His wife is soon to be a widow for the second time; my husband is a very real presence…I complain that he snores, or is distracted by his work, or…or…or…

Then, when real tragedy strikes, do I complain even more, or do I cry out to God to help me?

Thankfully, God is faithful, even though I am not.

The other passage I read was: “And do not complain as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer.”  1 Corinthians 10:10.  I’ve run across a few people in my life who were miserable; who spent so much  of their time in the occupation of the “C’s”:  Controlling, Criticizing and Complaining”, that the dissatisfaction and anger emanated from their entire being. 

Bitterness takes its toll, indeed.  The destroyer destroys completely.

It’s true, I think, that misery loves company. Many times when I’ve been riled up about something, I want to share it with another person.  I feel the need to state whatever my complaint is and get agreement from them that, yes indeed, it’s terrible!  Then, off we may go together down a long path of whining and complaining that ends up getting us both lost in the wilderness of a total waste of time. 

Other times, the person to whom I’m speaking may chose to not buy into my rant.  My husband is good at this; he’ll simply look at me.  Admittedly, it’s a bit frustrating at first, but, really, what can I do but shut up at this point?  More often than not, whatever the nit-noid was eventually dissipates into the void.

And, when something is important enough to be addressed, hopefully, then, I’ll have the strength to do so because the wind in my sails wouldn’t have been blown away by trivial matters.  I must recall all of the times I’ve found strength to get through a difficult time or situation; and to remember from whom my strength comes from.

“I know what it is to have little and I know what it is to have plenty.  In any and all circumstances, I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:12-13

Thanks be to God.

Mrs. B

Let No Evil Talk Come Out of Your Mouth -- Day Nine

Long before I returned to God, I used to keep a collection of what I referred to as “Cool Sayings”; tidbits of advice and pithy remarks discovered in books or articles; most attributed to a famous person, several from anonymous sources and even a few to people I personally know.  I think I amassed over five typed pages of these fonts of wisdom with each one speaking to some part of myself; something that I needed to hear just at that particular point in my life when I stumbled across it.  Here are a few of my favorites:

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”  George Elliott

“Never give way to malice.  It turns the best men into fools.”  Henry VIII (he should have taken his own advice, methinks!)

“There is a time for departure even when there is no certain place to go.”  Tennessee Williams

“I’ve seen a heap of trouble in my life, and most of it never came to pass.”  Mark Twain

“The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark.”  Kahlil Gibran

“And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count.  It’s the life in your years.”  Abraham Lincoln

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Old age ain’t no place for sissies.”  Bette Davis

“You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the way they play cards.”  Kathleen Wheeler

“And remember, my sentimental friend.  A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.”  The Wizard to the Tin Man from the movie “The Wizard of Oz”

I could go on and on!  But, here is the quote that embodies the theme of this blog post:

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”  Norman Vincent Peale

If you think about this, isn’t it the truth?  So very simple, so very true; not always so very easy to accomplish, however.

Like eliminating any bad habit, tackling negative thinking takes time and energy.  It’s also takes patience and persistence.

About a year ago, I was reading one of my daily devotional books “Jesus Calling” as I do every morning.  On this particular day, I was in the midst of some minor crisis of thinking brought on either by the reality of events or perhaps just the way I was contemplating them.  Basically, what that day’s message said was (paraphrasing):  “Trusting (in Jesus) keeps one from obsessing and worrying (not that I have an issue with THAT, ha ha ha) and having a thankful and grateful heart keeps one from the “sister sins” of criticizing and complaining.”

Profound.  Because, seriously, how can ugly crap pour out of your mouth if it’s already filled up with the sweetness of gratitude?  How many of us would pop a delectable morsel of our most favorite food or drink in our mouths, only to pollute it by also stuffing some noxious substance in there with it?

 

There’s a lot of noxious complaining that occurs on Facebook.  Perhaps one of the reasons I don’t mind quite so much giving it up for Lent is that it’s kinda nice to get away from some of that negativity.  This realization got me to thinking that I’m sure I do plenty of my own belly-aching, whether on Facebook or otherwise.  “How much time do I spend complaining?” I wondered.  I didn’t know, but, I decided to give the complaints up for Lent and find out.

So, here we are Day Nine of Lent and I’ll be totally honest.  Giving up Facebook is TONS easier than giving up complaining.  I really didn’t realize how much negativity creeps in throughout the day, how many opportunities there are to BITCH.  Because I am conscious of it now, I have literally bitten down on my tongue several times in the past week to keep from saying something that is not deserving of entering into the air space between me and whomever I’m talking to (or me and no one, if I happen to be sitting by myself somewhere irritated about something).  I’ve learned (and I know I’ll keep on learning in the next month) that there is a huge difference between acknowledging an issue and requesting or desiring a change vs. going on and on and on and ON about it. And, I’ve noticed the times I fail and engage in the on and on and on behavior, I feel really crappy.

Right before Lent, I read a great article on the difference between constructive and destructive complaining.  Actually, I’d call the constructive complaining “feedback”. 

Constructive:  “Waiter.  I ordered my hamburger medium rare and this is well done.  Please take this back and bring me one cooked the way I ordered.”

Destructive:  “Waiter. I can’t believe this.  I ordered my hamburger medium rare and you brought me this inedible piece of shoe leather.  What?  You didn’t write down what I said?  I demand that you bring me what I ordered ASAP or else I’m walking out of this joint! (to dining companions) Crap!  I can’t believe this!  Doesn’t anyone know how to do their job these days?  This place is over rated and expensive.  You’d think they’d at least be able to hire staff that could find their butts with both hands.  I don’t know, what do you think?  Should we just get up and leave?  Screw them.  I’m not paying for my beer and they can forget about a tip!”

Whew.  Just writing that got me tense!  Ok, most of us wouldn’t complain quite so drastically about an over cooked burger, but, you catch my drift.

In this example, not only is the complainer angry and out of control, imagine how the waiter is feeling, as well as the dining companions.  I can’t think of any positive vibes flowing from this exchange.

I’ve handled some challenges  well this past week; recognizing that it’s ok to feel disappointed and/or desire a change but complaining will do little good.  A few others, well, I’ll admit to feeling some boiling blood and my mouth started flapping on its own accord.  Afterwards, not only was the unfortunate situation still there, I felt physically unwell on top of it.  Thankfully, I managed to keep from being rude or abusive to anyone but admittedly, I was thinking rude and abusive thoughts.

But, hey.  How great that I have the opportunity each day to wake up and try harder, not just for my own benefit, but for the benefit of others. 

Although I still cherish all of those “Cool Sayings” I have stored away in a Word document on my computer, I find myself now turning to the Bible and all of its wisdom when faced with any and all situations and challenges.  These, too, present themselves to me just at the time I need to hear them.  I now have a long (growing) list of “Cool Scripture Verses” stored in my heart.

“Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.”  Ephesians 4:29

Mrs. B

Give and Take -- Day Two

Another thought for consideration is this.  Lent doesn’t necessarily have to be all about giving something up, it can also be centered on adding something, or doing things differently.  Taking on.  Perhaps that works better for some, the idea of adding rather than subtracting. Good examples of this are “I am giving up watching T.V. for one hour per night and I will spend that hour doing “X” instead”.  Maybe “X” is a healthy physical activity or spending quality time with a spouse or family member or focusing on one’s spiritual growth by reading scripture.

Two years ago, I gave up Facebook for Lent.  Initially, I received a lot of flak about it (“I thought you were supposed to give up booze or red meat or candy for Lent!”) but I didn’t listen because I knew it was going to be tough for me. And, it was. There was quite a bit of reasoning behind why I chose to do this, not the least being, it seemed to me that I was spending far too much time on Facebook.  Yes, I might scoff at those who are enraptured with watching “Dancing with the Stars” or “American Idol”, but, of course, that would make me a hypocrite, wouldn’t it?  When it all comes down to it, a little bit of certain things is an indulgence, more than a little bit could possibly mean an idol.  Ok, ok; no one is worshipping golden calves here, but the more a person studies the Bible, the love story of God’s chosen people and their covenant relationship with Him, the more you realize that idols are really anything that keeps you from honoring God.  Is Facebook evil?  Is T.V. evil?  Is reading romance novels evil?  It’s all wrapped up in what else you are doing in and with your life. 

Anyway.  Two years ago, I was successful in my Lenten Journey.  Afterwards, I had all sorts of interesting insights into the experience, as well as ideas on how I would approach my relationship with Facebook (and other social media) in the future.  If you’re curious,  read this.  I’ll tell you up front, I’m being totally honest by divulging this entry to you because, after you read it, you’ll realize that, although I was successful in giving up Facebook for Lent, I haven’t exactly kept all of my promises.  I’m wondering if this might sound familiar to some of you.  We try, we succeed.  We screw up.  We’re forgiven.  We keep trying because we’ve been forgiven.  Or, as one of my Pastors would say, “We just keep swimming”.

Back to the give and take.  If you give something up, it sort of stands to reason that by filling the void with something else, you don’t miss what you gave up quite so much.  When people are attempting to quit smoking, they might replace the cigarette in their fingers with a carrot stick or pretzel rod.  Or, they may find ways to fill the time that they would have spent smoking by taking a long walk or going to see a movie.  Someone facing the end to a relationship may find themselves seeking out other people to spend time with so they are not lonely.

With regards to Lent, I think it makes perfect sense that, when you give something up, you should be replacing it with something that will bring you closer to God.  In this, the possibilities are endless, limited only by our imaginations and our pride. Heck, even if a person chooses not to give anything up, there isn’t any reason why they couldn’t simply add a new behavior for this period of time.

Last year, I gave up alcohol for Lent.  Although it wasn’t always easy, especially when dining out or when we had company, it wasn’t dreadful, either.  I wanted to see that I could do it (probably not a bad thing for all folks who drink alcohol to try from time to time) and I did lean heavily on Jesus during this time lest I be tempted.  However, a few weeks in, and I wasn’t even thinking about it overly much.  Believe it or not, given up Facebook proved more challenging.

So here I am in 2014 and once again, I’ve decided to eliminate Facebook from my life until Easter.  Why?  Because it’s still a stumbling block; it remains too much of a time suck.  Although I like to believe that my on-line persona has improved in her kindness towards others, I’m still a long way from exhibiting grace. Giving up Facebook this time, however, is a tad trickier because much of what I do on my phone and laptop is automatically connected with Facebook; plus, it’s still my number one go to place to get connected with my family and friends.  Sad, but true.  I find myself wondering if, like two years ago, I’ll pass the next month and a half in relative solitude since people seem to have forgotten how to call or email or text (let alone read my Blog!); yet, I am reminded of the duality of this (and the subject of this post):  I am giving Facebook up but I am using that time to do other (hopefully) God-pleasing activities.  “Give me the desire to obey your laws…keep me from paying attention to what is worthless”.  Psalm 119:36-37 (TEV).

Mrs. B

Up Next:  Let No Evil Talk Come Out of Your Mouth

What’s Lent Got To Do With It? – Day One

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first Day of Lent.  All across the Globe, folks are participating in the season of Lent by attending special church services and, in all likelihood, “giving up something for Lent”.  Traditionally, this requires some sort of fasting activity, and its purpose is to bring to mind Jesus’ forty days of fasting while roaming in the wilderness just prior to beginning his ministry; as well as to join us in solidarity with him as we recall that Jesus, too, was continually tempted by evil during this time and other times in his life.  Just as Jesus relied on his Father to deliver him from those periods of trial; so we, too, must rely on God to give us strength in our own struggles.  Obviously, this is something we should do every single day of our lives, but the Lenten period serves as a yearly, focused reminder that we’re probably failing miserably in this regard and need to get back on track.  Is it any wonder, too, that the beginning of this period is the day after Mardi Gras; arguably one of the most self-indulgent days of the year for many?

Frankly, for most of us, making the connection between giving up something for a month and a half to trusting in God is a stretch.  For many, this can turn into a silly, if not pointless activity.  “How can giving up (fill in the blank) bring me closer to God?”  

Good question, and one which I believe can be answered by “It depends on whether you take it seriously” and “It depends on what you give up”.

I’ve only recently returned to this practice of fasting.  I remember half-heartedly going through the motions when I was a teenager but I’m almost certain I never made it through Lent without eating a chocolate bar or chewing a piece of bubble gum or arguing with my mother.  This is not to say that young people today cannot take Lent seriously; I just wasn’t ready to do so when I was 16 years old.  Heck, I wasn’t ready to take anything seriously when I was 16 years old.  In later years, I never remotely considered attempting a fast during Lent because nothing to do with God or Jesus or religion or anything at all of that nature was on my radar screen.  In the spring of 2012, I was finally ready to take it seriously.  WHY that was the case is another long story covered elsewhere in this Blog (see He'll Meet You Wherever You Are )

I don’t think I need to spend much time explaining what I think taking something seriously means, but just to cover that base for a moment;  if I am going to do something; to commit myself to a person, a relationship, a vocation, an activity, an event; I always ponder long and hard before I do so.  Perhaps not everyone does this to the degree I do, however, I have to believe that most people have at least one or two areas in their lives that they are quite serious about and very committed to.  If you can’t wrap your mind around the seriousness of participating in fasting for Lent, I’m not sure you should even bother to attempt it.  In my opinion, someone going through the motions without any true desire to grow from the experience risks hypocrisy.

Taking it seriously, then, should lead a person to give up something meaningful.  So, what should it be?  There are plenty of folks that use this period of time to commit to giving up a bad habit, and I personally think that’s just fine because it’s an excellent opportunity to be reminded how we should rely on God to see us through the challenges and the temptations.  And, as an added bonus, if a person can successfully eliminate whatever the bad habit or behavior is during this forty or so days, they've made big strides and will probably be able to maintain this success after Lent is over.  They will also be in good company with others during this time, a huge, ready-made support group, who will also be struggling through their own particular trials.  Yes, sometimes misery does love AND NEED company. 

But what about those who may not have an obvious bad habit or behavior? There is a story in the Bible about a rich young man who, upon hearing about all of the wonderful things Jesus was teaching and doing and also observing the band of Disciples surrounding Jesus who were both  following him and learning from him; approached Jesus and asked what he had to do to get in on this game, to get into the Kingdom of Heaven.  Jesus initially told him “the basics”; love God, obey the commandments and the laws.  The young man was really happy and pleased with himself because he was already doing all of this.  But Jesus went on.  “Sell all of your possession, give the money to the poor and follow me”.  Oops.  Not what the young man wanted to hear, so he walked away, feeling sad and sorry for himself.  My reason for bringing up this story is that Jesus looks into each of our hearts and sees what we need to give up in order to truly follow him.  Circling back to us giving up something for Lent, it could be something different every year or perhaps the same darn thing that  remains a stumbling block in our faith-walk.  Whatever the case, there is something for everyone.

My guess is, after prayerful consideration and perhaps some nudges from the Holy Spirit, you may already have a pretty good idea of what it should be.  Remember.  It’s not something simple, just ask the rich young man.   If you find yourself toying with the idea of giving up something you don’t even do in the first place (in my case that would be watching T.V.) or something you don’t have any sort of problem not doing (for me that would be smoking) or some activity you are already not doing due to your life circumstance (in my husband’s case that would be sleeping because he’s a CPA and it’s tax season), then I suggest you circle back to the “take it seriously” part before proceeding any further.

Mrs. B

Up Next:  Give and Take

No Boozie

I recently returned to the church (I dislike the term "born again") and elected to participate in the fasting aspect of Lent.  Actually, I did so last year as well.  

Without getting overly complicated, the idea behind Lent  is to first give up something for forty-six days  that will be a sacrifice and/or difficult for you; this to be in solidarity with Jesus as he wandered around 40 days fasting, and, when he was at his weakest, managed to overcome the temptations Satan was throwing at him left and right (well, three to be exact).  So, yes, it is supposed to be tough.  

In the years between my youth (when I was asked to give up things such as candy, watching T.V. or going to the mall) and now, I've run into adults participating in this fasting aspect of Lent who have given up everything from red meat, sweets, coffee, alcohol, cigarettes/cigars, watching T.V., buying anything not deemed necessary to getting up an hour earlier each morning, not playing video/computer/phone games, staying off Facebook -- well, the list goes on and on and is limited only by folks' weak spots (or creative manipulation).

Last year, I gave up Facebook.  I took some crap for that from a few people, both on the "That's not a true sacrifice!" side and the group that proclaimed they couldn't stand not seeing my brilliant posts every day and please don't ever do that again.  Well, maybe it wasn't what some would consider a true sacrifice, but, since it's how I tend to communicate with roughly 75% of the people I know plus how I entertain myself, it really was tough.  But, more to the point, it played well with the other aspect of giving something up, which is, you are supposed to replace that activity (or vice) with something, well, good.  For example, if one gives up an hour of sleep, they should spend that hour in prayer or reading the Bible or doing something for someone else.  If someone eliminates their daily latte at Starbucks, they should give the money they would have spent to a worthy charity.  

If you're interested in my last year's Lenten experience and what I learned, you can read my Blog entry by clicking HERE.

The bottom line is, I survived the no Facebook thing fairly easily and I did manage to spend a lot of that time doing much more productive things.  Around December, I began thinking about giving up booze for Lent this year.  Honestly, there were several reasons for this but not the least (and the most important) being, I knew it would be tough because, not only is it an embedded habit (hat tip to my Father for pointing that out) in my pretty much daily routine, it's also something I enjoy; not because I want to get pie-eyed (oh those days are long gone) but because I truly prefer alcoholic drinks taste wise to just about anything else (with coffee running a close second).  Also, drinking is a very social activity; my husband and I have a cocktail just about every night around 6 (later during tax season) and discuss the events of the day and many other things.  We might share a nice bottle of wine with a good meal (and, c'mon folks, who doesn't have a grand time sipping on a glass of wine while preparing dinner?)  Then there's the lunches with my mom where we gab over a glass of wine.  Or, beers with my Father sitting out on the lanai solving all the problems of the world. Or dinner out with  friends.  Etc.  You get the drift, I hope; I knew that I would really be giving up something that I enjoy in many, many ways.  

And, yes, maybe I enjoy it just a bit too much.  There's that aspect of it as well.  I recall a conversation I had with a doctor friend of mine once when he told me that, technically speaking, a person cannot be considered sober if they've had even one drink a day.  He asked me then, "When was the last time you were sober?"  Given those parameters, it'd been some time.  Oops.  I asked myself that same question last December and came up with the same "oops".  So, I suppose my rationale for selecting abstinence from alcohol is spiritually, emotionally and physically oriented (as a side-benefit, I can't help losing some weight).

So, long story short, I'm on day six of the forty-six and so far it hasn't been too bad.  It is because I began mentally preparing back in December?  It it because I told a lot of people I planned on doing this so I wouldn't back out?  It is because it's tax season and I'm fairly busy doing other things?  Is it  because I can see how many calories I'm saving every day by not drinking anything?    It is because there is an end in sight (honestly, though, I would like to see myself come out of this with better habits going forward)? Is it because I've made this commitment to God and I don't want to fail him?  Or, is it because God is helping me out by easing the temptation? 

Of course, I still have 40 days to go so I'm not resting on my laurels but I'm feeling pretty good about this.  In addition to the (hopeful) weight loss, here are some additional benefits I've noticed:

1.  I can actually stay awake long enough to read at night and I am 

     sleeping better.

2.  I don't have to wash out the martini glasses every night (Mr. B

     gave up his nightly martini).

3.  We're saving money (and, yes, I will do a calculation at the end

     of Lent to determine how much and will donate it to church or 

     a charity).

4.  I can happily and gladly serve as a D.D.

5.  I feel justified in indulging in a bit of chocolate every night.

6.  I'm having fun coming up with interesting non-alcoholic 

     drink concoctions. 

7.  I'm realizing I don't really need it; which is freeing.  There is

     certainly a big difference between having to have something

     and being able to walk away from it without too much trouble.

In all honesty, I think giving up coffee may have been harder.  Hmmm....maybe that's what's in store for 2014.

Mrs. B

Going Without Facebook: A Reflection

I gave up Facebook for Lent this year (and, judging by the picture I found online to post with this entry, I was not the only one!)

This meant from February 21st (I started a few days early) to April 8th, I did not engage in an activity that, up to then, I'll admit I was somewhat addicted to. It's sort of scary to admit that; being relatively addicted to logging onto a social media site and both reading up on what all of my 100-odd so "friends" were up to and posting several times per day myself about what I was up to, or thought, or found interesting, etc. Giving what was going on in my life; how much time I had to spare, I was on Facebook off and on several hours over the course of a day. And, this meant I was in all likeliness on Facebook when I really should have been doing something else.

I'll have to admit, though, even as I was asserting that I was giving up something I truly loved (and I meant it), I was also thinking in the back of my mind that perhaps this was a good time to start weaning myself off Facebook a bit. Truth be told, there had been instances where I found myself more annoyed than entertained; sometimes downright pissed off. How silly is that, then? To constantly subject oneself to the possibility of getting angry. And, over what? Some other person's opinion on (fill in the blank) subject? The fact that no one was commenting on some picture I posted (or that someone did and I found what they said to be extremely inappropriate and even hurtful?)

Facebook is a social "place". And, as with other places where people hang out (school yards, classrooms, workplaces, parties), there is a degree of who is the popular one, who says all the witty things, who is trying to say all the witty things, who is being shunned, who is being insulted, who is being talked about, etc. And, because this is all online, people can be a lot more bold; "saying" things on Facebook that they'd never have the guts to say to a person's face.

Anyway. As I said. To be honest, I was not going to miss that aspect of Facebook.

What became important to me as I approached Lent was, what would I do with "all of the time" I'd be saving not being on Facebook? Well, true to form, I had a long list. I won't share the whole list here (15 items) but here is a sampling:

• Help Mark/Business
• Read
• Blog
• Write (as in WRITE)
• Spend more time with family
• Play with Lucy and the kitties
• Help people "somehow"
• Think and reflect

As it turned out, due primarily to the time of year and our personal circumstances, what I ended up doing, mostly, was assisting with the preparation of income taxes. Not exactly the spiritual intention of Lent, but, life happens.

For both fun and sad reasons, I also spent quite a bit of time with family and I was also able to blog here and there. Maybe I got a bit of "helping people somehow" in there as well, indirectly, I suppose.

Several times throughout the Lenten period, a family or friend would comment (via email), "I sure do miss you on Facebook!" Interestingly enough, with the exception of those few folks, I did not hear squat from the majority of my Facebook friends, even though my email is clearly posted on my profile page. What does this tell you? I'm not upset about it, mind. It's simply an observation. It's a lot easier to stay in touch with hundreds of people through a few key strokes on one site than to send personal emails, or a text, or make a phone call or, God forbid write an actual snail-mail letter. I'm not saying I'd be any different. In fact, during my absence from Facebook period, I was a dismal failure at another item on my list, "Write personal notes to family and friends". I wrote ONE (not including birthday cards and the like). What's important for me to take away from this observation is, if I decided to never go on Facebook again, although it may take awhile, I'd eventually get back to communicating via an alternative method with the people who really matter and factor into my life.

Because I am a disciplined soul, I was not really tempted to cheat and sneak a few peeks of what people were saying on Facebook during the six weeks. Maybe this means it wasn't a hard enough thing to "give up" or maybe it means I was committed to keeping my promise. In either case, I didn't do it. I was, however, able to post two things remotely onto Facebook. I thought about it and decided it wasn't cheating because I wasn't actually on Facebook, nor would I go onto Facebook to see if and what people had to say about it. These two things, one a tribute to Margot (a link to my Blog) on March 1st and the other a link to my FIL's obit, I felt people would want to read/know.

As an aside, it's a bit scary how many sites these days have a button these days of "Do You Want To Share This On Facebook?" It made me ponder if, eventually, every single thing we do will have this option. "You just saved $12.35 with coupons at Publix! Do you want to share this on Facebook?" "Your pap smear is negative! Do you want to share this on Facebook?" Your husband just told you your butt looks big in those pants. Do you want to share this on Facebook?"

But, I digress.

Don't get me wrong. There were many, many times I wished I could share a thought, or an article I'd read, or some pictures from this or that. And, I truly missed being "up on things". Even though I read the paper on a daily basis, I always found out more about what was going on in the world by being on Facebook. Yeah, sometimes I didn't CARE (e.g., about Tim Tebow), but, at least I knew who the heck he was. Oh, and at times some (what I thought was) a funny or amusing quip would go through my mind and I thought, "Gee, too bad I couldn't post that on Facebook". But, I'm sure all my friends survived without my humor and "wisdom".

So, Easter rolls around and a few people said, "Oh, you'll be able to get onto Facebook!" I was busy Easter Sunday and didn't log on until late that night. I checked my profile (new timeline, great, something new to learn) and read the several comments there in response to my two remote posts. I checked each of my lists (BFFs, Family, School Days, etc.) to see what all my peeps were up to. I uploaded a new profile picture (this took some time since the format has changed). I posted a status update. By then, I was exhausted and there is simply no way I'll be going back through the past six weeks to see what everyone posted. Just won't do it.

So, going forward. What will be different for me? Here is what I am hoping to do:

1. Limit my time on Facebook. Check it once or twice a day. Don't leave it up on my computer. Not read every single thing people post and feel I have to comment on same. Keep what I post to a minimum and this to things that are more about what's going on in my life; updates, pictures, etc., NOT my opinion on every darn thing.

2. Refrain from having Facebook stuff sent to my phone. In fact, I'll probably remove the app. I may still send an update from my phone from time to time (or a picture).

3. Absolutely positively never post anything offensive, rude or hurtful to anyone. Ditto with comments.

4. Post more of my Blog entries as opposed to links to this or that article, site, etc. This way, I can keep my focus on writing/blogging (e.g., like I'm doing right now).

5. Get rid of Pinterest. Ok, technically, Pinterest isn't Faceook, but it seems somewhat connected to me and It's another time suck that I do not need.

I could probably add a few more but this pretty much covers it.

I guess I cannot end this entry without addressing why I'm even going back to Facebook. in the end, I still believe it's a great way to keep in touch with both people I know and what's going on in the world. I have learned many things from Facebook activity over the almost four years I've been on it (thanks to the new timeline version, I now know that I joined Facebook on September 27th, 2008). And, I think it's important to keep up with the way the world is or else I'm apt to get run over and passed up by the people coming up behind me. That's not something I'm ready to do.

Yet.

Mrs. B