Me Accountable to Me. Or, I Refuse to Disappoint Myself

You don’t get to where I got in my professional career without, in addition to possessing skill, demonstrating a high level of responsibility and accountability.  In my case, this built on itself throughout  the years of my working life; beginning with small and then larger successes that came to the attention of my superiors; year after year, task after task, project after project, until, lo and behold I was identified as an “extremely responsible person with superior judgment.”  

Wow.  And this from a kid who grew up in the suburbs of San Diego California, partying on its beaches, with no more drive regarding my college education except to simply go, because otherwise, all four of my parents would have disowned me.  I did go; however, it took my five years to graduate because, well, I did go to San Diego State University, THE party school of the country, and my grades were, let’s say, passable, but, man.  There is something about basic intellect and savvy that will get you places that a 4.0 never will. Thank you, gene pool.  

So, yeah.  I am reliable.  I will always be reliable, this is not something easily shaken off; even if one is technically "retired".  People know they can depend on me.  And, it’s not as if I don’t want that because I do; one of the worst possible feelings I can imagine is that of knowing I let someone down.

Why is it, then, that I believe it’s ok to let myself down? 

Oh dear readers, that particular question is one for the ages; one that would require an entire series to answer.  I suspect, also, that it’s one that many of you may resonate with.

But here’s my pledge to myself.  And, because a good friend told me today at Starbucks at approximately 1:30 pm that I need to hold myself accountable to myself, I’m making it public because otherwise, I may welch out of it (ok, that Southern California party girl still exists in me somewhere!):

1. I will go on my planned 3 day silent spiritual retreat in September.
2. I will blog about said retreat (and my reasoning behind going) at least once per week before I go.
3. I will blog at least 3 times per week about this and other topics, whether anyone is reading or not.

There you have it, and that is all…for now.

Mrs. B