The Office Holiday Party

So, yeah, I'm gearing up for Mr. B's office holiday party tonight. Judging from the one last year, this should be fairly fun. At least we'll get to hang out with our friends John and Marilyn; share a few drinks, eat some (probably) more than decent food.

While out walking Lucy this morning, my mind ventured off down the path of contemplating all of the office holiday parties I've been to over the course of my life. And, there have been many.

Back before I even graduated from college I worked at a small manufacturing company in San Diego. They made radar absorbent material and were, in essence, a subcontractor to some of the big defense companies. I was there in the mid eighties, back when smoking was still allowed in office buildings, as was alcohol. Because it was a relatively small outfit, we typically held our party AT the office. Usually everyone would bring in a dish to share and we probably had some sort of gift exchange. I don't quite recall ALL of the details but what I do vividly remember is the vast quantities of alcohol that would flow. One year (I think it was the year the movie "Cocktail" came out starring Tom Cruise), we had a real hoot and holler pushing people backwards onto the conference table and pouring cocktail concoctions down their throats. This was also the year when "the boss" chased me into the back of the plant with naughty thoughts in mind (this wasn't the first or the last time he did this; another thing that amazes me in looking back (especially with an HR mind frame); WHY did I ever put up with this?)

Flash forward to my years at TRW. I don't think I missed a holiday party in the 17 years I was there. Most of them were held off site in the ballrooms of nearby hotels. These all sort of blend together (with the notable exception of the time my ex husband and I stayed at the hotel for the night and I got stinking smashed, he pissed me off, and I called hotel security on him; this was BEFORE we were married and I probably should have thought later that my subconscious was likely trying to tell me something). A goodly number of the parties held during the TRW years were planned and coordinated by yours truly so you can imagine how wonderful they were! Seriously, my first job at TRW was at "Sector Staff", which meant all of the Vice Presidents attended the parties. My boss at the time, The Crazed Psycho Bitch from Hell, had a reputation for throwing spectacular parties; a rep she was not about to let me ruin. So, MONTHS before the party (as in June or July) we would start to plan out every little detail. By the time the party occurred, I was a wreck.

Much nicer were the parties we planned when I was working for my pal Col. George in Colorado Springs. His wife Jean would make lovely wreaths that we would raffle off and we typically held the party at a nice hotel, once or twice at The Broadmoor! And, there was always a Conga line going once everyone had sufficiently relaxed. Then, George and Jean moved to Omaha so I ended up attending two holiday parties each year; one in Omaha and one in Colorado Springs. The last party I attended in Colorado Springs was memorable in three ways. One: It was the final party I went to with my ex husband, Two: I danced crazily around the dance floor to the tune of "La Vida Loca" with the security manager from Falcon Air Force Base (Ken) and Three: I actually won a door prize; something that NEVER EVER happens to me (usually); it was a nice bottle of Chivas Regal with two rocks glasses that said "2000" (it was Christmas 1999). I later drank about 1/3 of that bottle in January to give me courage when I handed my ex our divorce papers.

I don't want to forget to mention that, in addition to our holiday parties at CSEO, Col. George also, on his own dime, took his direct reports out for a very very nice lunch; again, usually at The Broadmoor; a tradition his successor also maintained.

And, how could I not mention a party that I did NOT attend but I ended up hearing more about than I care to discuss? Our sister division up in Denver had a real barn burner one year. A bunch of people got thoroughly trashed (whilst most of the other attendees stayed relatively staid and sober, including my HR counterpart). The site manager; a stout, loud toad looking man named Pete (oh God, PETE; sorry, my Pete!) encouraged the drunkards to start a mock strip tease while he acted the emcee. Problem was, a few people took him seriously, in particular, a very pretty young woman who began running around the dance floor, lifting up her skirt, and flashing her panties (which, thank the Lord, she had on). Well, after the party, more than one employee called the Legal and Ethical Hot Line and yours truly was called in to do an investigation. I might add that this was not the end of my involvement with Pete. He ended up working in the same division I was at in my last stint with the company. And, he drove me absolutely nuts.

My final job at TRW brought some of the more unique variety of parties. The first year, it was held at one of the nearby hotels. My VP (a shy man) refused to go so it was hosted by one of his VP Program Managers. This meant that mostly only program people went (something that caused quite a bit of fracas which eventually meant we stopped having those types of parties in our division). The first year I was there, one of my male co-workers invited me to go with him. Not a date, per se, but, we did arrive and depart together. I can tell you that for the rest of the time I was there, rumours always followed us.

My VP (Ed) decided the next year ALL of his employees would attend so we had it in the cafeteria. Sounds sort of cheesy, but, we had a large committee working on it and it turned out quite nice. And, we had killer door prizes.

Alas, even THAT was too much for Ed so, the next two years we had quiet holiday luncheons at a very nice local restaurant. Oh, and there were also the HR luncheons I had to attend (although us HR weanies got a lot of crap over that since each employee was only supposed to attend ONE holiday party per year and here were the HR fools going to at least two, sometimes three. What can I say? We were popular and always asked to attend people's parties).

Now, several years after "my" last office holiday party, I now attend parties as "the spouse". Let me tell you, it's quite a different role to play (but one I think I'm good at). And, it is SO nice not to have to be the "person in charge", but, rather, to sit back, sip a glass of wine and enjoy the company. Last year was very amusing for me because, apparently, the person who planned the party did not order sufficient food. So, about 1/2 way through the evening, the wait staff started to bring out huge bowls of french fries and platters of quesadillas. Mr. B's boss (and the other partners) were mortified (all of them being extremely "genteel"; they should thank their lucky stars that site manager Pete from Denver isn't around) and I know the gal planner got an earful later about it, but, frankly, the rest of us didn't much care. I was thinking that, with the amount of alcohol being consumed, that type of food was probably a good thing!

So, tonight we'll be back at it; celebrating the holidays with Mr. B's work associates, a few friends, and many people I hardly know at all (maybe the woman who demanded a glass of milk with her cake last year will be there again?)

As for me, all I have to worry about is what to wear!

Mrs. B